Unsaid

Chapter 1

"Now you got my trust, and it feels and it feels

like sabotage. But I'm pourin' triggers back on myself.

And you know it all. I know. All I know.

And it feels, so reaaaaal, from the outside looking in!"

My ipod headphone speakers blared out so loud it hurt. Hmm, just how I like it, I thought to myself. I watched the green tress pass by in a hazy blur. Autumn was coming soon. My favorite time of the year. Too much had happened over the summer and I was ready to restart, and reset myself. 

An exit neared slowly and from the corner of my eye I watched my dad as he began to merge into the right lane to take it. I took one headphone out and stared at my dad.

"What? Geez. Take a picture kid," he said. 

I'm not going to deny the fact that my dad was gorgeous. In his own way of course. He passed me the trait of his hazel, gray eyes that held orange flecks when you stared at them long enough. His hair was still a regular black. His grays hadn't set themselves in place yet. And his jaw was set on a strong angular mouth with skinny but full set lips. His skin was tanned because of the sun he took in over the summer. Who would know. I resemble him in every way possible. 

I stared up at the next sign we were passing, as he took a right at the light outside of the exit. This time, I glared at my dad instead of question him silently. 

The sign said, "Welcome to Melbourne, Florida." 

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. My life is over. I CANNOT believe we left the beautiful city. The beauties of Chicago. To come to FLORIDA! This has to be a joke. Where are the camera's? Come on?

I had a mental battle with myself for about 24 seconds when my dad winced.

"Sheesh, Rayna, you look green," he said almost sheepishly. 

He took a sudden left, and whispered almost to himself, "Welcome home."

I stared up at the condo's staring down at me. My heart rattled harder then the things in the back of the moving truck did when dad took a sudden stop in the middle of three parking spots. Typical.

"Well, this is it kid. Our new home!" He said excitedly, "Come on, let's go check it out."

Who was I kidding? Myself. Of course. I took my other headphone out of my ear and threw my ipod to the side. I opened the heavy door to the moving truck and ignored the sound of my jeans ripping when I pulled myself down off the high truck. I stared up at the massive apartment condos like if they we're going to eat me at any second.

I heard dad shut the door at the other side. He stared up with me. 

"Well? Let's go!" He clapped his hands together and began rubbing them like he did when he was ready for something.

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I'm not going to deny the fact that the condo was huge. Huge enough anyway. The bizarre part? I never expected myself to feel welcome. But when I stepped foot in, the first word that humbly ran through my head was home. Don't ask me why. It was just the burst of energy I felt from the fresh new smell of a new place.

I had helped my dad unload the truck and was now sitting in my room, boxes carelessly tossed around, some half open. All of them saying my name in a fast scribble.

Ray

My name  is Rayna DeLanier and I'm from Chicago. I don't want to go into details about myself, but this is the new me. The new start. I am Italian and White,  I am 17 years old, and my parents are divorced. My brother died 8 months ago in Iraq while he was at war. We never saw his body so I'm still left with that unsettled feeling that maybe he's still alive. But who knows right? I don't miss my mom. Not one bit. Isn't that upsetting? No, not really. I doubt I'll miss anything from Chicago except for the lights. So I guess I'll survive? Who knows. My heart hasn't settled in any place so I don't know why I feel such a shock of being in Melbourne. I'll get over it soon enough. Next week I start my first day at school, on Monday, and I am beyond unprepared. I don't know what lies ahead but I guess I have to be ready to conquer that soon enough. Please, diary- keep all my secrets. And don't tell anyone. Don't show anyone what I feel. Or what I say to you. It's between you and me, and maybe someday. Someday, I'll be able to look back to you and remember how much strength you gave me when you listened to me. That's all I need. 

-R