Pacing

The room was dim, all the shades were drawn, the lights out.  It was a gloomy day, dark clouds hung low in the sky and everything was wet.  He paced the floor, his footsteps echoing through the empty house. What a sight it was.  Jude; disheveled hair, sweatpants hanging low on his hips, shirt nowhere to be found, pacing back and forth in front of his bed.

He didn't know what to do.

He had promised himself at the beginning of the year, at midnight, that he would do this.  He knew that he would never find peace of mind until he just fessed up and spoke his mind.  The minute the clock struck twelve ringing in the new year, he promised himself he would do just this one thing.  He gave himself all year to acomplish this. But he knew if he put it off any longer, it would never happen.

On one hand, this could go beautifully.  Jude could just pick up the phone, call him up and everything would be just peachy.  Either the other would feel the same way and they could live happily ever after.  Or maybe he wouldn't feel the same way, and they could still live happily ever after.

But on the other, this could go horribly.  Jude could pick up the phone, call him up and everything would be far from perfect.  The other could be appalled.  He could scream and the two could have a terrible falling out.  What a terrible way to end a friendship.

Jude stopped in front of the mirror and just stared.  His internal feelings showed.  His brown hair was pointing in every direction.  He had circles under his eyes that were darker than the room around him.  He was paler than usual, making the freckles spattered across his cheeks stand out even more. 

"This is eating me alive." He grumbled, turning on his heel and resuming his pacing.  "You think it would be so easy to do this.  I've known Darren for years, since before I can remember.  You think it would be so easy just to call him up and let him know what I'm thinking."

He wanted their friendship to come to an end.  They had known each other for what seemed like an eternity.  He could remember the times the two of them had stayed up late watching horror movies that both of their moms said were too inapropriate.  Or the times they had climbed up to the roof of Darren's to get away from the world.  And that time last year when Jude's boyfriend dumped him out of the blue because he didn't like being with a guy who was so feminine.

They had always been best friends.  It wasn't that he wanted the good times to stop, he just wanted the friendship to do so.  He was ready for a change.

He stopped when he heard his phone buzzing.  He looked over.  A text from Darren.  Darren wanted to know if they could hang out later that day.  Jude took that as a sign.

"I guess it's now or never." Jude muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair.  If he didn't say it now, he would never say it.  His resolution would go uncompleted once again.  He wasn't going to let that happen.

He picked up his phone.

"Hey, Darren, I think I'm in love with you."