Behind, The Eyes

Chapter Five!

The gun points at me. I'm gonna die. Just as the trigger is pulled I'm pushed out of the way but mom. I scream. Not her. I kneel down in front of her as tears start streaming down my red cheeks. Blood pours out of her stomach. "Amber, when I'm gone always remember that you are stronger and braver then what you think." She takes my necklace and places it in my hand. "Wear this to remember your father and I. And don't ever forget everything happens for a reason." Her breathing stops and she closes her eyes. She's gone. I look up at him and say "why?" I cry even harder as he just turns around and walks away. I'll never get my answer.

I wake up sweating and breathing heavy. I sit up right, places my warm feet on the hard wood floor. I try to calm my breathing down up it just gets worse.
Last night after my shower I decided to go to sleep not wanting to see him or talk to him.

I've been getting nightmares like this for years now. I'm used to them but I still get scared. Sometimes they get so bad I don't sleep for days or I run. I run until I fall or hurt myself. I get up from the bed and start making my way towards the stairs. Tears keep running down my face and I have to hold onto the railing to keep myself from falling over. My hands tremble as I let go of the railing and make my way over to the windowsill.
I sit down and rest my head on the window looking outside.

Why does everything bad happen to me? I know there's kids out there who have it worse but still why does it have to happen?

Because everything happens for a reason.

I can still hear my mothers voice. Her beautiful, peaceful voice. I still remember when she would sing to me after my nightmares. It would always calm me down. I clear my throat and start singing my moms favourite song. Jars of hearts.

No I can't take one more step towards you

Cause all that's waiting is regret

And don't you know that I'm not your ghost anymore

You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half a alive

And now you want me 1 more time

Tears keep racing down my cheeks as I hug myself tighter. Singing was always me and my moms thing. I miss her. I miss everything and everyone. I keep singing until my voice cracks and I start to cry hard.

Why did he have to kill everyone and let me suffer? I've never been alone before and scared like this. What do I do? Do I live my life and believe I can stay alive or run away until he finds me? I don't know what to do and now that I'm alone everything is 100x worse.  Maybe I should give up.
But will everyone who tried and risk their lives to keep me safe be disappointed? I don't want them to be disappointed, I want them to be proud of me for once.

A hand is placed on my shoulder making me jump in fear. I point my fingers like a gun at the person.

"What the hell Asher" I scream at him. My eyes widened as I realize he just say me crying. I quickly turn around like nothing happened and wipe my tears. Great, now he thinks I'm pathetic.
You are
I sign and turn back around only to come face to face with him.
His body is pressed up against me. I feel his heat, and smell his smell. It smells like the forest.

My heart is pounding almost ready to explode. Why am I getting this feeling? My eyes find there way to his lips. I really want to kiss him. But.... I can't and never will. I take a step back but he grabs my arm and pulls me back to him. He wraps his arms around my waist and holds me there.

"Why does every time I look into your eyes I feel something spark in me" he says pressing he's forehead against me. I shake my head not feeling like using words.

"You make me feel alive." He tells me. And at that I pull away from him and sit back down on the chair with my back faced to him. He's lying. He doesn't know what he's talking about. I'm not what he thinks I am.
He places he's hand on my shoulder and spins me around. He's arms smack down on the arms rests trapping me.

"Talk" he yells. He can't tell me what to do. If I don't want to talk then I don't have to.
"Your not the boss of me." I say like a little girl making a frowning face. One thing you need to know about me is that I don't act my own age. He leans in closer, I feel he's hot minty breath hovering over my lips. My heart starts beating fast and my breathing stops.
Stop it. Don't get effected by his looks. Don't break.

"And anyway why would you want a little, selfish, rude, bad, disrespectful girl to talk." I question raising my eyebrows.

"Maybe because I care!" He yells and storms off upstairs running into the room I slept in and slammed the door.

"Why would he care?"