Love, Finally

Chapter 1

     I sit beside the train track, waiting for the line of cars to rush by. It should be coming soon. I hear its horn in the distance, and stand up. I step onto the tracks, and wait. I'm so glad that all this will finally be over. I'm so glad that I won't have to deal with all of this anymore. What brought me here? Oh, I don't know. Maybe the seemingly endless bullying, the abuse, the depression, not being loved, being gay, the car crash that changed my life last year.

     I snap back into reality, and see the train barreling towards me. I take a deep breath. This is it, I tell myself, closing my eyes. I think back to my abusive uncle, everyone who bullied me, and Mom, Dad, and Derrick. Maybe I'll see them, tell them how much I missed them... I feel the ground shaking, and tense, waiting for the train. It gets closer, closer, closer-

     Suddenly, I'm pulled off the tracks. I feel the hard gravel underneath me, feel my chest heaving, feel the rush of air as the train misses me. Why am I not dead? What the hell?! I hear heavy breathing a few feet away, and go into a numb shock when I see Luke, a jock from school, staring at me.

"What the fuck, Luke?! What the hell was that for?!" I yell at him, tears pooling in my eyes.

"I-I-uhh, sorry? I saved you...?" Luke mutters, obviously confused and slightly hurt by my sudden fury.

"Can't you see I wanted that? That was my choice!" I say, tears streaming down my face, dampening my fur.

"Listen, Mike, I'm... I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing."

    I just sit there, crying, head hanging between my knees. I look at the blurred outlines of my Vans, and watch my tear drops as they splatter into the gravel. I cry for the life I could've had, the life I almost ended, and the life I have to go back to. I stare at the tiny rivulets my tears have formed, and realize that death wasn't what I wanted.

"Luke?" I sniffle.

"Yea?"

"...Thank you."

     He doesn't say anything, just nods, stands up, and helps me get to my feet. I look at him, and hug him. He doesn't resist, but doesn't return it either. I end the one way embrace. It felt so good to hug someone. No one's let me hug them in a long time. I admire him. I wonder what it's like to be confident, strong, like he is. I half consciously notice how handsome he is. Straight white, with a green tipped tail. Strong, muscular.

"I'll walk you home, if that's okay with you?" Luke, asks me, gently.

"Sure..." I reply quietly.

     We don't talk much on the walk home. I notice that he keeps me on the side of the sidewalk farthest from the road. Gentlemanly. Dad taught me a few things before he passed, one of them being that you always walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road. It's just the right thing to do when you have company. We continue to walk in silence, a quiet sigh or stifled yawn breaking the quiet every once in a while. It's almost 2 AM, so there's no one out. Finally, we get to my house. 

"Thanks, Luke."

"My pleasure, Mike. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure, I guess."

    I watch as he starts towards his own house. I open the door quietly, hoping to sneak past my uncle. I get to the stairs, but then I hear,

"Where the fuck were you, little faggot?"

Dammit. He's still up.

"I asked a question, fag, you gonna answer?!" He yells.

     I open my mouth, about to utter a response, when he grabs the back of my hoodie and turns me around. As he talks, I smell the reek of cheap beer on his breath. 

"WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?"

"I-I was at a frie-"

     He slaps me across the face. Hard. I fall to the floor, and try to stay down. But he yanks me back up, and slams me against the wall, holding me there.

"Bullshit! Where were you? Why are you covered in dirt?"

"I.. I was..." I can't think of an answer. My head is spinning, the edges of my vision black. I can already feel the bruise beginning that's sure to be on my cheek. He puts his face close to mine. His stench is overpowering. Booze, for one thing; but also BO, and cigarette smoke. I smell anger, too. Raw, dangerous anger. He snarls, snout so close to mine we're almost touching noses, and whispers:

"You were at the railroad, weren't you?"

I don't reply.

"You were at the railroad, trying to end your pathetic little life!" He lets go of me, and starts laughing.

I scurry upstairs, while he's distracted. I close my door, lock it, and put a chair underneath the handle. Then I sink to my bed, and cry myself to sleep.