Love, Finally

Chapter 6

"It's worth it to keep living, ya'know. There's so much beauty in the universe." 

"Luke, that's what literally everyone says. No one who's dealt with suicide before actually puts those sentences together. They don't work."

He looks at me and sighs. "Yeah, I know. Thought they might help. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," I reply, cuddling closer to him, looking at the stars. "I wasn't gonna do anything dumb. I just kinda felt the urge for a little bit."

   We exchange these somber words while stargazing on top of Luke's roof. I was sleeping at his house, and kinda just ended up on the roof. He found me standing on the edge, looking down. Every once in a while I'll find myself in situations like that. Wanting to end it all. I never end it though. Luke keeps me from doing it. Or rather, the thought of him does. A lot of times he's not there, but I think of seeing him the next day and I stop myself.

  When he found me, he gently pulled me back from the ledge and grabbed some pillows and blankets. We've just been laying here for a while, watching the sky. He's right about one thing: there is a lot of beauty in the universe.

  It's been a while since Luke and I started dating. I think back on the last few months. A few weeks after our date at the carnival, Luke came out to the football team. Surprisingly, they were all super supportive. I don't think I've ever seen a stronger bond between a bunch of sweaty teens then that of the football team. It was really heartwarming, and they guessed pretty much right away that Luke and I were going out. It's also kinda nice because the entire team supports our relationship, and those are some big guys that are willing to defend Luke and I to the end of the earth. No one even mutters "fag" around me anymore. I like it.

   I've basically been adopted by Luke's family as well. They all really support our relationship, and I think they know that my situation with Max isn't great. Because of their hospitality, I hardly ever get hit anymore, which I appreciate.

  "Well, do you want to?" Luke asks.

"Wait, what? Sorry," I sputter, coming back to the present.

"Did you honestly not hear a single thing I just said?" Luke chuckles, "You're one of a kind, Mike."

"Hey, in my defense, I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you," I reply, punching him lightly.

He pulls me in for a kiss. I never get used to it. My heart races every time. I savor the taste of his lips, the feel of his mouth on mine. Unfortunately, he pulls away.

"I was asking you if you wanted to go on an adventure. I don't think either of us are gonna get back to sleep tonight." 

"I mean, yeah, but where would we go? What would we do? It's like one in the morning." I reply.

"I dunno. We could just drive. There's this really cool abandoned mansion that has, like, a bunch of graffiti and stuff. It's super cool. We could sneak in and have a look."

"That's the weirdest date idea ever." I chuckle.

"Well, the question still stands. Do you wanna do it?"

"Why not? Sounds fun."

   We stand up and climb through the window next to the roof. We get dressed and quietly head downstairs and out the front door. On the way, I grab my Polaroid camera. Luke got it for me as a random little gift, and I love it.

   We hop in his truck and start driving. The truck is an old '70 F150. I'm not really into cars or sports or anything considered manly, but I love Luke's truck. I don't know what it is about it, but it just entices me so much. I think it has a story. It's been around 46 years, and Luke certainly didn't buy it new. From the old meter gauges to the worn out padded seat, it has a story.