Breaking Down Defenses (3rd in Breaking Series)

Chapter Two

"If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all his thinking, damages his personality, makes him landlord to a ghost."Lloyd C. Douglas quotes

Thomas would have ridden all night to save time but the boy behind him kept nearly falling out of the saddle and he knew he needed to rest. Thomas pulled up the reins. They had ridden pretty far south and the land was becoming more arid and desert like as they neared the Mexican border. He knew that tomorrow they would reach Tortulla.

He jumped from the horse and he reached up to help the boy who was half asleep.

"What are we doing?"

"Stopping for the night." Thomas replied, looking up at the darkening sky.

"Where are we sleeping?" the boy asked as he looked around. Thomas pointed to the ground.

"Right there." The boy looked scared but Thomas had to give him credit for not voicing a word of complaint. The boy sat down on the dusty ground while Thomas went about getting a small fire started for heat, knowing that the temperature was dropping now that the sunlight was nearly gone.

He spread out his bedroll and then frowned at the boy.

"Didn't you bring something to sleep on in that satchel?"

"No. I thought we'd have a bed….." Thomas didn't want to give up the slight comfort of his own bedroll but until he got this kid dropped off at the barracks, he was his responsibility and it just wouldn't do to force him to sleep in the dirt.

"You can sleep there." Thomas said, pointing to the bedroll. The boy sat down on the bedroll and then rubbed his growling stomach.

"I'm hungry." he said. Thomas removed the saddlebags from his horse and dropped them on the ground. He reached inside and removed some hardtack biscuits and jerked beef.

"Here ya go, kid." he said, handing some to the boy.

"My name is Nathan." the boy said. Thomas nodded.

"Eat ya a bite, Nathan, and then you need to get some sleep." Thomas could feel the boys eyes on him as he sat down in the dust and poked at the small fire while he ate a biscuit.

"What if those men find us?" Nathan asked after he was done eating and was curling up to go to sleep. Thomas shook his head, but didn't look away from the dancing flames of the fire.

"I'll keep you safe, kid. Get some sleep." Thomas watched the boy close his eyes and he could tell by the boys change in breathing that he had fallen asleep. Thomas looked back into the fire as he stretched out on his side. He closed his eyes but they quickly flew back open when images of that poor woman's body flashed through his mind. Those men had taken away every ounce of her dignity before taking away her life.

Thomas had seen a lot of things in the last four years since joining the rangers. He could hardly remember the boy he used to be when he had left Atkinson Spread a little over four years ago. Back then life had seemed like one big adventure. The thought of living out of saddlebags and riding into danger had excited and thrilled him. He had wanted to be just like Brody. Tough. Dangerous. Intimidating.

Now he understood the haunted look that had often been in Brody's eyes. He understood that killing men didn't make you more of a man. He understood that riding into danger and living out of saddlebags didn't make you tough. Killing men ate at your soul and living out of saddlebags and riding into danger made you realize just how alone you were.

He was a good ranger… Too good. His commanding officers had quickly seen the potential in him and had turned him into a spy. He had infiltrated several gangs in order to find out who they were taking their orders from… Those had been dark days. In order to maintain his cover and his life, he had been forced to take part in things that still haunted him to this day.