Hallelujah

Chapter 2

I pull up to the Concert hall. I sit in my car for a while taking some deep breaths and trying to get my nerves under control. I hear a knock on my window and see it is Cheyenne.
"Niki! What are you doing? They are opening the doors now! Lets go!" She squeals opening my car door. I sigh and put on a fake smile.
"Ok, lets go!" I say enthusiastically, but my insides are telling a different story.

We walk into the door and see a sea of people all pilling in front of the stage. Cheyenne grabs my hand and pulls me into it, she maneuvers her way around and before I know it we are off to the left of the stage on the side. The people all around me push and shove and fill my ears with their screams. This Venue is a decent size but I feel like we are all in a cracker box.

The lights dim and the crowd screams even louder. It's the opening band. The start off strong, and really get the crowd revved up. I nod my head to the music, it is surprisingly good. I look off to my right and see Cheyenne who is doing the same.
"Pretty good huh?!" She screams in my direction I nod and give her a thumbs up. They opening band plays for about 45 minutes and by the end of their set I am smiling and honestly having a great time. They exit the stage throwing guitar pics and drum sticks in the crowd.

Cheyenne wipes the sweat from her head and leans in and asks
"You having a good time?!"
"Yeah I am!" I say honestly. She grins
"Thank you for coming! You have no idea how much this means to me!" she shouts over the crowd. I again give her thumbs up. The crowd starts screaming even louder when the lights go dim again. I know Panic! At the Disco is about to enter on the stage and my chest gets tight and I am having a hard time moving the rest of my body.

A white fog appears on stage and I see movement , I take deep breath as the stage lights come back on and the band begins to play. I look up and see him. He is holding the microphone to his lips and bobbing his head to the intro of the song. His brown hair is fixed up with part of it swaying to his left. He is wearing a grey suit and what looks like dress shoes. I feel my mouth go dry, and the tightening in my chest gets even worse. Then he starts to sing.

I don't know the words or even what song it is, but all I know is it takes me back. I close my eyes trying to get control of myself. I feel tears coming on, along with anger. The last time I heard this voice sing was before he left, before he never came back, before he broke his promise. I feel my fists clench and all I want to do is scream, I want to scream at him for everything he did to me. I don't want to listen to his stupid voice anymore. I tap Cheyenne on the shoulder and she stop jumping and looks at me.
"I have to step out, I feel like I'm going to pass out" I lie.
"OK! I'll meet out front after!" she screams. I smile and make my way out of the crowd and step outside.

The fresh Las Vegas air is very welcoming. I sit on a bench in front of the concert hall and put my head between my legs and slow down my breathing. I haven't had a panic attack in over 8 years. I continue to sit out in front of the hall for the remaining of the concert. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't make myself go back in. The sound of his voice and seeing him has been all too much.

People start filling out of the venue signaling that the concert is over. I stand up and look for Cheyenne, eventually I see a blue head amongst the crowd and make my way to her. She sprints up to me.
"What that not amazing?!" she enthuses. I smile and lie
"It was AWESOME!"I say matching her enthusiasm.
"Wanna go around back and see if we can meet them?!" I gulp and struggle to think of an answer.
"I'm not feeling good, I didn't really eat much today plus all of that sweating and screaming really wore me out.." I lie again and she seems to buy it.
"Ok...well I am going to! I'll get you an autograph!" She gives me a hug and runs off in the direction of the back of the building. I sigh in relief and start making my way in the direction of my car. I start thinking about the past and that asshole and I get angry again. I hear two girls behind me
"Let's go to the back and meet them!" One girl squeals!
"Oh my God! Yes!!! I'll make Brendon Urie fall in love with me!" the other girl teases.
Hearing his name makes me even angrier I turn around and face these young girls. They can't be more than 20 years Old and are both wearing Panic at the Disco T-shirts.
"You go do that! And you know what you tell Brendon that he is lying asshole!" and with that I turn around head back to my car. Once I get in and I can finally let everything go. I cry and scream .

I thought this pain was over but it wasn't. He left me and never came back. He lied. He broke my heart. I hate him, I hate Brendon Urie.

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