Hallelujah

Untitled Part 5

April 2005

I've been dating Brendon now for 4 months, and it has been the best 4 months of my life. At first people couldn't believe it, that Brendon would date me, I still can't believe it. My days mostly consist now of me going to school, going home then sneaking out so I can spend even more time with Brendon.

Almost every afternoon Jessica and I go to the smoothie bar where Brendon works, we do our homework and wait for Brendon to get off, then from there we go and watch him and his band practice and they are REALLY good. I told my dad that I joined the bible study group at school and that we have meetings every day until 5ish then we do our homework until 6 and that's when I get home. My father believe me, he doesn't think I am one to lie....shows what he knows.

I sit at a pink table at the smoothie bar where Brendon works and stare down in frustration at my physics homework. I drown out the sound of blenders by pulling out my headphones and start playing Queen. Jessica was right...I really do like this band. I'm not sure how much time passes but soon the sound of music is pulled from my ear. I look up and see Brendon standing there. He is wearing a black shirt, tan pants and a green apron splattered with smoothie guts.
"Hey beautiful I'm off" he says kissing my neck. A smile soon comes across my lips along with a shiver down my spine. I close my physics book and start putting everything into my backpack.

"Hey good looking. What's up next?" I ask giving him a kiss on the cheek. He grins and takes off his apron throwing it over his shoulder.
"Well I was thinking about skipping band practice tonight and maybe take you out to dinner" Brendon says grabbing my hand.
"Dinner? Why?" I question as we walk out the door and over to his 2001 Nissan Versa.
"Well today marks our 4 month anniversary...and I thought I should take you out since I have some left over money after paying rent for our practice space" he lets go of my hand and fishes out his keys from his pocket.
"Brendon...that sounds lovely but you know I have to be home by 6 every day" I say sadly. Brendon rolls his eyes.
"So why don't you go home at 6 then tell your dad you forgot your bible at the school? Then that at least buys you an hour or two because of the bus system" he suggests. I nod in agreement, it is a good plan.
"Ok I'll do that" I agree. Brendon unlocks the passenger side door for me and I get in he leans down and kisses my cheek.
"Good thing you don't plan on being a master criminal or anything Abbi, you kinda suck at being sneaky" he sasses. I lightly shove him.
"Hey I could be a master criminal I just lack all the skills required to be one....but if I did I'd be a damn good one!" I sass back at him. Brendon lets out a belly laugh.
"Oh Abbi...." He closes the door behind me and hops in the driver seat.

We spend the rest of the 15 minute ride talking about what it would be like if we were criminals. Like Bonnie and Clyde. We pull up to the bus stop that's just 2 blocks from my house.
"See your innocence is what would throw people off. They'd be like 'oh no a sweet little church girl' until you pull out your gun and rob the joint and prove them all wrong!" Brendon says. I laugh.
"I'm not THAT innocent" I argue. Brendon chuckles.
"Yes...yes you are and it's one of the many things I love about you" He leans over and kisses me softly. He then parts my lips with his tongue and makes his way into my mouth. This whole making out thing to me is new of course, but I am beginning to really enjoy it.
After a couple minutes of making out we part. Brendon smiles his million dollar smile at me, making me feel like jello. How can he do this to me?
"Gets better every time" he says kissing the tip of my nose. I blush.
"See you in a bit" I say getting of the car.
"I'll be waiting" he sings. I giggle and close the car door and make my way to my house.

I walk up to my Colonel style house with a big wrap around porch and walk inside. My father stands in the living room a belt in his hand. My stomach drops along with my heart.
"Hi Daddy" I say nervously. I put my head down avoiding eye contact.
"Abbigail Nicole Jones! I am so ashamed of you!" he screams. "Here I am at the monthly church meeting talking with Paster Dave about how happy and proud I am of you for stepping up and becoming more involved with God and the church. When he tells me you haven't been to Bible study there in over 4 months! He says that his wife Judy has seen you out several times with some hooligans and holding hands and kissing some BOY!" his face is red and his hands are shaking. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EMBARSSING IT IS TO BE A FATHER TO THE CHURCH WHORE?!" he pulls the belt behind his head and hits my across my legs. I yell out in pain. And fall to the floor, he continues to hit my across my back, butt and legs. Tears stream down face and I yell for him to stop.
"YOU'VE LIED TO ME!" he hits me again "YOU'VE LIED TO GOD!" he strikes again hitting my arm.
"Daddy please stop!" I beg through streaming tears. He stops mid strike and hangs the belt from his hand dangling it in front of my face.
"You are to never see that boy again! You are never to see those devil worshipers again! I will take you to and from school now. You will not be allowed to leave your room until you graduate is that understood?!" He says sternly.
"Yes Sir" I say stiffly standing up.
"Now go up to your room and pray for god to forgive you and your sins!" he shouts. I nod and grab my backpack off the floor and slowly make my way up the stairs.

Once I close the door I throw myself on the bed and sob uncontrollably. My heart hurts more than my back and legs. I'll never get to spend time with Brendon again. For the next month I am going to be trapped up in my room. After a good amount of time crying I finally peel myself from my pillow and see it is 7:00. I wipe the tears from my eyes and go over to my lap top. There are no messages from Brendon on my MSN messenger but there is one from Jessica that was sent 2 minutes again.
Brendon says for you to look outside your window.
I tilt my head to the side and look make my way over to my balcony. I open the doors and with shock see Brendon standing there in the dark with a bag of takeout boxes in one hand and a rose in the other. I can't speak I am just too surprised.
"Brendon how did you-" I go to ask but I am interrupted.
"It doesn't matter, once it hit 6:30 I knew you weren't going to be coming so I brought the dinner to you" He hands me the rose and with shaking hands I take it.
"This is just so...."
"Romantic? I know" he says giving me kiss on the cheek. He walks inside my bedroom and looks around. My room is a light blue with crosses on almost every wall and some of my pictures hanging from them. He sets the food and rose down on my bed and turns to face me and his smiles drops.
"Abbi you've been crying. What's up?!" He asks concerned.
I feel more tears behind my eyes but don't let them fall.
"My dad found out about me sneaking around....he says I can't see you or anyone anymore" I cross my arms and sit down on the bed next to the food. Brendon's face shows shock, sadness and anger all at once.
"Well then I guess I'll be riding the bus home with you every day and I'll think of something on the weekends" he says stammering.
"He's taking me home and picking me up from school from now on. I'm not allowed to leave this room until I graduate" I say choking back tears. Brendon's hands ball up into fists.
"This is fucking bull shit! He can't keep you caged up in here like some fucking prisoner Abbi! You have to fight back!" He shouts. I let the tears fall down my face.
"I can't fight back Brendon....or else he does this" I slowly and nervously take my shirt off and show him my back that is filled with red welts. I put my shirt back on and turn around and face him. Brendon's eyes are filled with tears he pulls me into him and hugs me gently.
"Come with me tonight. Just you and I we'll get the fuck out of here, I'll take you away from here, from all of this Abbi please" He begs. I nuzzle myself into his chest. There is nothing more that I want more than to run away with him, but I think of school and my education.
"I want to Brendon, I want to so bad but school" I pull back from him and wipe a tear from my eye.
"Then after graduation. After graduation we'll leave this shit hole and never come back, you'll never have to see him again Abbi" he says sternly looking deep into my eyes.
I nod and before I can say anything his lips crash against mine kissing me passionately. I am lifted off of the ground and floating on a cloud. I wrap my arms around his neck and return his passion. Brendon pulls from our kiss.
"I love you Abbi, I love you more than I have loved anything. You're everything to me and more. When I am with you I can be myself, you bring out the good in me. You're so kind and gentle and loving and mysterious and just everything I could ever want. I don't think I could ever be without you Abbi, I don't ever want to be without you." He pushes back a piece of my hair and I let the tears I've been holding back fall.
"I love you too Brendon. You've shown me what the real world is like, that there is a life outside of what I know. I didn't even know feeling this way about someone was possible, but I feel like we're connected in a way I can't explain. I want to see all of the world with you" I sob.
"I'll save you from here Abbi, I'll show you everything outside of these walls you've been confined to. I promise, there's just something about you that keeps drawing me in, like you said we're connected in some weird way and I don't think I could stay away from you if I tried. The way you make me feel is beyond anything. I love you Abbi, I will save you from this place"

And that was the first lie Brendon Urie ever told me.