Little Fighter Soon it Will be Brighter

So Lost and Confused.

How could this happen to me? I swear I did it once, I hav- no wait had always been a good girl I never did the party scene never got drunk non of it, now look at me stuck in this mess. Two pink lines, at the moment the worst things that could ever happen to me... this was not going to end well at all. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK "Honey you in there?" my mom called out, Crap I've been in here to long "ummm... yeah sorry mom I will be right out sorry... yeah." I tried to sound convincing... "Ohh alright, tea is ready." I heard her footsteps vanish. I shoved the test into my track pant pocket as I quickly darted to my room hiding it under my pillow as I darted down the stairs "Sorry I am late sir" my head pointing down looking at me feet "Well saying sorry won't fix your lateness will it. HURRY up and sit down." My step father ordered, I did as told. I always thought I had a fantastic childhood, up until the age of 8 my father packed up and left me (he made contact with me a while ago) and my pathetic excuse of a mother didn't even try and stop him. A year after that my mother married the monster and so for the past 8 years I have been ordered around like a slave while my three half sisters are treated with royalty.

Once dinner is finished we all move into the living room. We always do this to discuss our day and what had happened, well the five of them always did I would just have to sit and listen for the two hours, I was then normally sent up to my room but not tonight, Halfway through the talking session the eldest of the three ran upstairs to only moments later run down holding the stick I had peed on only a few hours earlier "Look what I found under Emerson's pillow!!!" She screeched "You went into my flipping room and looked through my stuff that is low of you!!" I yelled back jumping up trying to get it before anyone noticed what it was, I was to late... my stepfather got it before I had the chance. "I let you live under my roof I feed you, give you a bed to sleep in and you go and get yourself knocked up you ungrateful WHORE!!!" Then he slapped me I was taken a back for a minute before I decided I was over this crap "You know what? Mom and I would have been perfect without you, we would have survived. You don't know my story I am not a whore I do not go sleep around all the time I did it once and it went wrong. and you!!!" I pointed my finger at my mom "Why do you just sit there and let him hit me and abuse me? You always do this just sit on your ass and never help anyone." I blurt out before storming up to my room. I packed a bag with all my stuff before running downstairs and out the door but not before nipping my mothers wallet.

After a few hours of flying I called my father "Whats up Emmy?" "Nothing Daddy I..I I'm at the airport...Dallas airport" I whispered "Ohh honey whats you doin at dallas airport your mom is gonna have my head for this" His voice filled with concern "I had to get out it was ridiculous please come get me.." "Honey... that's ah six hour drive... you are so lucky I had to come into Dallas today, meet me out fron' " I nodded even though he couldn't see me I hung up and paced back and forth waiting for him to arrive. only half an hour and he was there in his blue pick up truck it's a little dirtier then I remember. "Darlin get your but inside it is freezin out there." he yelled over the noise of the plane taking off. I jumped in as I looked into those eyes I hadn't seen for almost nine years, i couldn't contain myself anymore I balled my eyes out as he tired to calm me down. "C'mon lets get you home darlin" Dad started the engine about two hours into the trip home I passed out.

"honey you might wanna wake up now" I slowly opened my eyes "daddy I have made a huge mistake and I just don't know what I can d-" he interrupted me "honey I heard everything you talk a lot in your sleep, don't worry, we will visit the doctors and find out how far along you are and don't panic sweety I ain't gonna make you give it up. tis your decision after all and I am willing to stick around and help you whenever I can." I threw my feet over the edge of the bed as I leaned in and hugged my dad. 'Thank you daddy" I whisper. After a few silent minutes we decide to get up, Dad has already cooked breakfast thank god I was starving.

My father and I talked for a while. He is now the county's Mayor. So he would be busy most of the time. I must admit I was proud of him. "So I have the morning off, you and I could hang out if you wanted?" He questioned as I stacked the dishes in the dishwasher "Daddy that sounds amazing" I smiled as we walked into the lounge room taking a seat on the couch.

"Honey, I understand if ya don't wanna talk 'bout it but when did this happen?" He asked pointing at my stomach "One month and 3 days ago, I was on summer brake and I was playing vollyball with some others and I went to jump for so i could hit the ball... but some how it just all went wrong... horribly wrong and I was about to fall onto my back but a guy" "Darlin I don't care how you meet I want details!!" dad was acting like a teenage girl which made me laugh. "Ohh noooo daddy I am not giving you details!!!" I announce we both laugh for a while "You know what I mean!!" "Yeah I do daddy. well he has dark brown hair that it was shaggy but not to long not it was short and messy. but you could see if he wanted to he could make it look formal. but yeah. Ohh his eyes daddy I can only hope m- our child has his eyes they were brown almost black when I meet him but they changed when his feelings changed oh daddy he was perfect!!!" I was about to continue before my dad interrupted me "Honey do you remember his name?" "umm it started with an A but he said no one called him by his full name Umm Alex no that wasn't it....Xavier" Again interrupted "Alexavier?" My dad questioned by the look on face dad continued "Honey I know him... hi his name is Alexavier McGroven he is eighteen he lives four farms down. He helps me with stuff around the farm. He actually should be here shortly" Dad said matter of factly "Really? ohh god daddy i can't meet him He will think I moved here to ruin his life daddy I can'-" I was interrupted for the third time today by the knocking of the back door "Mr Murdock are you here sir?" That familiar voice wafted through the house "Come on in Alex, in the lounge room" My dad replied "Daddy I am not ready for this I.I..I gotta go" I tried to jump up and run but I was to late "Good mornin Sir...." He spotted me dang it!! "Hey Alex this is my daug-" "Emerson, sorry sir we have met. How are you Em?" He looked exactly like I remember maybe even better "I uhhh I'm good ho-how are you?" I stumbled over my words blushing like crazy "Very good ma'am. It is nice to see you but I have a full day of work so I best be off, Just thought I should tell you Sir, I have arrived." He scurried out of the house "What are you waiting for he has NEVER stuttered like that before chase him!!!" my dad whisper yelled at me "I ain't dressed." I ran up the stairs to change into my black jeans and a tank top as I bolted back down the stairs "He is at the dam!!!" my dad yelled as I ran outside looking around I spotted the dam a few meters away so I slowly walked over to see him in those fadded blue jeans sitting at his hips in the black singlet with his black cowboy hat.

I wondered down so I was only about a meter away from him "You just got up and left in the morning, why?" He asked turning around to look at me "I..I...I I thought you only liked me because you were drunk and I was drunk and I barel-" "haha you still ramble when you're sober, I understand but what you don't know bout me is that I ain't one to sleep with ya and regret it in the mornin, I was kinda upset you weren't there when I woke up." He said stepping even closer to me.

"I forgot just how tall you actually are" I said looking down at my feet "Well thats what happens when you leave so early darlin." He placed his hand under my chin and lifted it up with that goofy smile of his that showed off his white straight teeth before he stepped away from me those beautiful dark eyes of his seemed to go a darker brown as he looked at me with a stern expression "Why are you here with the Mayor? why are you in Pecos?" He placed one hand on his hip "The mayor is my father, and I hated my mom and step dad. So I left plus well I-" I couldn't tell him he doesn't need to know "Ahh well I guess this means we can get to know each other a bit more?" I continue trying to move past the subject "But that night you told me you and your mama got along great?" "Well not no more, can we drop it?" I asked looking up at him with the sternest face I can muster, I swear he almost laughs at me "Alright sweetheart c'mon you ever ridden a horse?" I shake my head in response as he grabs my hand and drags me to the stables "Might wanna change into something a bit more comfortable he chucks a pair of ridding pants at me. I look at him strangely "I might have dropped my pants for you once but I am not doing it twice" I poke out my tongue out at him "Nor was I expecting you to there is an empty stable over there go in there" he chuckled pointing just behind me as I ducked in and changed. "I feel like a dork" I walked out with the tights pair of cream coloured pants on "At least you know look the part darlin" He looked me up and down as he put the saddle on a beautiful snow white horse. He had already gotten the black horse all set up 'Which one you want honey?" He questioned tightened the saddle "The white one would be lovely" I answered "Good because Clancy is mine" He again chuckled as he called me over to him "This is Nancy, pretty lovely horse she is laid back don't worry" He showed me how to get on the horse it felt so strange. After about half an hour I had the basics down pat I was ready to go 'Thanks Xav(Pronounced Zave) Where are we off to anyway?" Xav jumped onto his horse "You will just have to follow me to find out" he grind as he trotted off in front of me I soon was next to him "You aren't very good at following are you?" he laughed I leaned over and punched him lightly in the arm "You a mean little thing ain't you?" He laughed rubbing his arm.

After about twenty minutes of ridding he pulled up and slid of the horse me following suit Alex tied the horses up before leading me over the edge of the cliff "This is my spot when I come to think, your daddy don't mind, I thought I should let you know that cause I didn't want you thinking I was some wierdo that entered your daddy's property without ya'll knowin" Now it was his turn to ramble "Xav in all honesty I couldn't care less if you come onto the property and don't tell either me nor my Daddy. Just don't let that be an open invitation to c'mon in whenever ya'll want okay?" I laugh as I sit down on the edge "Haha righto then, look at you ya little dare devil, you do know 'ya'll' means you all not just one person right?" I started to blush, me acting like I belonged here just wasn't working out... "Ohh I see, I am new at this" I laugh nervously. "tis alright darlin', You know you are just how I's remember you that night." I am again blushing.

We spend a few hours out there as it starts to get chilly we jump back up on the horses and ride home.