Everything I Didn't Say // 5SOS

Out Of It

I nodded as he told me he was going out again. "Oh. Okay," I said in a small voice, giving my boyfriend, Luke a small kiss.

"I love you, Holly," Luke said, not giving me enough time to respond as he walked out the door without a second glance.

And then I was alone.

"Love you too," I grumbled to myself as I walked back over to the couch and collapsed onto it. Luke and I had been dating for over a year now. Not that he remembered our one-year anniversary when it happened about a month ago. I was still madly in love with him, but he just... wasn't into it anymore. His fans, his interviews, his shows had all just gotten in the way, and he just couldn't handle it as well as the other boys in the band could. Not that I blamed him, it's just that things weren't the way they used to be.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket and I opened it to find a text from my brother, Daniel.

'Hey, sissy. I was wondering if you wanted to go for dinner tonight? My plane just landed and I'm so excited to see you.'

My heart panged in my chest. I loved my brother more than I loved anything. He was the one that had been there for me, the one that had saved me from so many shitty situations that even I hadn't known I could get myself into. But I knew for a fact that my idiot boyfriend had gone to some club and I needed to be able to pick him up whenever he needed me to be there. And, so, with shaking fingers, I hesitantly turned my brother down and shut off my phone. I laid on my couch, staring at a wall, like I usually did when Luke left to go somewhere.

My mind went to places deep in my imagination. Usually, my thoughts drifted to far-out worlds or parallel universes. However, recently, I drifted to about a year ago, when everything was perfect.

When Luke and I would spend days upon days together, talking or gossiping about anything, neither of us cared. Or when both of us would get so hopelessly drunk and just sit in the field or in the back of his brother's pickup truck and just sing or laugh or talk or cry. Back to a world we were in love, where nothing else mattered but me and him. The sound of my "Hey Everybody!" ringtone snapped me out of my thoughts and looked down to see Luke's blonde quiff pop up on my phone.

"Babe," He mumbled into the phone. "Can you come pick me up?"

I was already in the process of putting my jeans on when I replied, "Sure. Where are you, anyway?"

He gave me the address of a club I had never heard of and I was over there in a heartbeat. I saw him and honked the horn slightly, sighing as I saw him stumble into the car, looking tired and drunk. I gave him a funny look, but it was so dark he couldn't see it. Something was different tonight. I just couldn't put my finger on what.

"Drive," he mumbled and I rolled my eyes, following his orders and driving him all the way home.

I helped him out of the car and into the house, stopping to look at him for a moment. And that's when I realized what was wrong.

Luke's shirt was inside out.

"Baby... why's your shirt inside out?" I asked, my arms crossed.

He looked at me then down at his shirt then back at me. "Love, don't worry. It's nothing. I swear." He slurred as he walked towards me and began to wrap his arms around me.

But even he couldn't hide the terrified look on his face.

"No," I mumbled, pushing him away. "Luke, what the hell happened tonight?" I asked and stared at him, afraid I already knew the answer. I hoped I was wrong.

He hesitated for a moment, staring off into space and playing with his black lip ring as he tried to decide what to say. After a moment, he drunkenly said, "she didn't mean anything to me. She just-" He advanced toward me again with his arms outstretched, trying to give me yet another hug.

"No!" I said and shoved him again, harder this time. His drunken self fell onto the floor, his world probably spinning. "Just get the fuck away from me."

I walked upstairs to our shared bedroom and slammed the door behind me, shutting it tight and locking it. I then collapsed onto the bed, sobbing into a pillow loudly. A million thoughts were swimming through my head.

Luke Hemmings had slept with another girl tonight. Someone I had probably never met before, someone probably more famous and probably worth more than I ever would be. He could have done it before, and just slipped up this time. All the times he said he loved me and went out, he could have just gone away to see her.

I couldn't even think straight anymore.

I had to get out of here.