Shifted Tides

Break ups

       Personally, I am the person who breaks up with the other instead of the other way around.  So I have never truly felt heartbreak when it comes to relationships with boys and ending things. I've felt bad before. Maybe pity once or twice but never my heart breaking over a boy. So when my best friend Jules comes running up to me and wraps her whole body around mine seeking a bear hug after her beloved boyfriend who claimed to love her just broke her heart for another girl, I find some difficulty in comforting her. See, I'm a wise owl for my age. Many of my friends have come to me seeking advice and comfort. But when my very best friend needs it the most, I freeze and start rambling on and on about how she deserves better and that her now ex boyfriend is not as attractive as everyone makes him out to be. If I would have taken a few seconds. Just a few. I may have noticed that she actually was in love with him and even though he just ripped her heart out of her chest and stomped it into a muddy puddle, she still saw stars in his eyes. She still thought the world of him. To her, he was her past, present, and future. But now, he is only one of those things. The past.
        So here's the catch, Jules ex boyfriend (let's go with douche king) supposedly left my best friend for another girl, like I mentioned before. But unfortunately, I have a strong feeling that he left her for my boyfriend's ex girlfriend. Crazy right? Yeah, I know. I'm not about to go into ex's just yet. Trust me, if I really wanted to, I could make that subject into a whole book by itself. I'll just leave it there for now. I don't want to spoil any surprises too soon. I'll just let that card unfold itself.
     So since my lovely best friend is in desperate heartbreak, I have brought it upon myself to write her a letter of comfort and put together a break up basket. What's included in this basket of soggy tissues and stale tears, you ask? Well, I have included a personal item that has always helped me in times of desperate measures. My favorite stuffed bear that has somehow salvaged itself through my adolescence. His name is unknown considering I have never taken the liberty to label him. So I just go with "bear". Sweet simplicity. The B basket also includes chocolate bars and assorted candies that will absorb the empty feeling she has in her stomach. I have added a movie as well. Marley and Me. What better movie to cry about that isn't about love? And last but not least, I included a small package of kleenex tissues to carry around with her everywhere she goes so if she feels heart broken again, she won't be in need of tear absorbers.
       I truly hate seeing her in pain. I hate seeing anyone I adore in pain. So it's hard to practically see her heart yearning for him and not be able to do anything about it. See, I have been blessed with the characteristic of mending. If i'm not mending myself, I am mending others. Constantly trying to fix and patch up everything that is wrong in their lives. But when I am powerless, I feel weak and unworthy. Unworthy of her friendship. But it has come to my realization that no matter what I do, I can't fix her this time. This is her own battle that she needs to fight. I can't slay her dragons for her anymore and that scares me. If I'm useless than I am unneeded and if I am unneeded then I am dropped like a hot potato just out of the microwave. That is my personal battle though. Constantly in need of appreciation and acceptance. I'm getting to a content state. Slowly but surely, i'm getting there. Now it is up to Jules to find her happy place. And all I can do is be here for her.