Title: Camilla
Author: ZoeCopeman
Genres: Fantasy/Adventure
Description:Since the beginning of time there has been but one thing that all know yet none understand. That thing is the fracture in time. Enslaved since youth, the elf has one task to fulfill until he wins his freedom. That task is to look through a crack in the wall. The only problem is the elf has no memory and has no recollection of his task. He simply sits and waits, bounded by his order. All is well until suddenly the crack changes and opens up to a new world the elf does not know or understand. Particularly the child he meets on the other side.
But this child has no intention to stay in her own world. Soon the elf finds himself on a journey back through the crack in the wall where he must overcome his fears and learn to work with others in order to find himself.
This is a fantasy tale intended for 10-13 year olds, but I like to think it's a tale anyone could enjoy.
All pictures/multimedia are copyrighted under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs. If the story intrigues you and you want to learn more about the old country, please see my blog: http://juststorytime.blogspot.com
Amount I've read: First three chapters
Review:
I'm going to have a hard time writing this, because this story is so different from anything I've ever read on this site. I normally find fantasy stories to show a lack of imagination or originality (and I realize that I have a rather unique viewpoint in that regard) but this story was very creative in both its plot and execution. I agree with the description's assessment of it perfectly: "This is a fantasy tale intended for 10-13 year olds, but I like to think it's a tale anyone one could enjoy."
The writing style reflected in this story seemed similar to the classic children's stories that are slowly being lost in our modern day culture. Reading this brought back memories of sitting outside as a child reading The Chronicles of Narnia and the Penderwicks. Aimed at younger audiences, sure, but just as easily enjoyable for people of any age.
As I skimmed the comments for this story I noticed that several people criticized the vocabulary used in it, saying that it's too complicated or difficult for a preteen to understand, but I disagree with that. One of the most appealing aspects of this story is its vivid descriptions, and I think it would be a shame to sacrifice that so that the reader can know the definition of every single word in the story prior to reading it. After all, how is their vocabulary supposed to grow if they never come upon new words? For example (and this isn't from this story), when a story is describing a princess' clothes, would you rather hear, "The thin red cloth hung from her body," or, "The scarlet, diaphanous fabric draped over her body"? In my example, the first one may be simpler to understand at first glance, but the second accents the elegance of the princess, plus the child would get to learn the definition of "diaphanous" as a bonus.
I enjoyed the characters in this story as well. Many authors struggle to write in the third person and still express the characters' emotions clearly, and I think this author pulls it off relatively well. While I'm not always able to tell what the elf is feeling at that particular moment, it's very easy to see his personality through his words and actions. I really liked the mystery behind his lack of memories, yet everyone he comes across seems to recognize him. It makes me wonder what he used to do before his job of watching the crack and how he knew so many people.
The girl, too, made the story more interesting. I'm not sure what her age is, but I'm guessing it's around the same age of the story's target audience, so maybe a preteen? Her desire for adventure was a refreshing break from many stories where the main character hates the stituation they've been put in and spend the whole story complaining about it. While most people would freak out if they found an elf in their house, the girl immediately finds out where it came from (the crack in the wall) and jumps through it for the fun of discovering something new. Her constant excitement and instant acceptance of anything happening to her was really fun to read, and I was getting increasingly drawn to her as the story progressed, maybe even moreso than the elf.
As I briefly mentioned earlier, the descriptions are almost perfect. They carry a slightly poetic tone that fits the fantasy genre nicely, but also a certain objectiveness and mystery that fits the adventure genre as well. The story starts out with a description of the elf almost immediately, though it doesn't come across as unnatural or forced like many teen fiction stories here where the girl wakes up for her first day of school, looks in the mirror, and describes every detail about herself. The description of the elf helped build the foundation from which the rest of the story grew. It emphasized how old the elf was, showing how long he'd been sitting in the crack waiting for something to happen. The fact that he waited so long and grew so old really helps to stress the wonder in the fact that he finally sees a child through the crack.
What am I missing here...Oh, dialogue. Since the story is told in the third person, much of the main characters' personality is shown through the dialogue. This is where I got a really clear picture of the elf's grumpiness and both Cam's thirst for adventure and her intelligence. You can tell the elf would like to be anywhere but where he is, and that the girl is not afraid to do something dangerous, but not because of stupidity or recklessness. It also showed the conflict between the dwarves and humans and whatever other kinds of bad guys there are in the third chapter. It flowed smoothly and painted a consistent portrait of the characters. Well done.
This story has a lot of the mystery element in it. The elf has no memories of his past at all, yet his feelings of dread at the mention of certain people and places adds a good touch of foreboding. If he can still fear certain things even when he can't remember them, then they must be really bad. And since it's a story where interesting things are supposed to happen, you can almost guarantee that he'll end up going to those places or meeting those people at some point. The girl Camilla really adds to the mystery as well. How come after so long staring through the crack in the wall, the elf suddenly comes across her? And why does it seem like everyone is out to get her? And why does nothing seem to trouble her or even give her pause? These are just a few of the questions raised in this story that readers will be eager to have answered.
Overall, great story. The writing style definitely isn't suited for everyone, but any long-time fantasy fan, especially classic fantasy, will be sure to love it. I recommend it for any 10-20 year old who enjoys either fantasy or fun adventure and wants to have their imagination put to work visualizing this unique medieval-type world.
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