Let's Close Our Eyes&Save The Truth For One More Night [ON HOLD]

Chapter 6: Torn

*Kendall's POV*

Nathan's voice sounded significantly more enthusiastic. "Ok great!" he beamed, obviously pleased. "I'll see you later then" I said, unable to make my voice sound as happy as his. As we said our goodbyes, I ended the call and let my phone drop onto the sofa I sat cross legged on. 

It has been 3 weeks since I had that meeting with the boss and I still couldn't comprehend with what I had to do in the next 4 months. Now that we were entering the summer months, it gave Nathan more of an inspiration for us to go out together on supposed dates. He had told me on one of these occasions that he had never been on a date with a girl before and that broke my heart seeing that I would be his first...and mostly likely last.

"Who was that?" Emily inquired, waltzing into the front room. "Was it..?"

"Yeah, it was Nathan." I finished, she probably knew the answer before she even asked the question. 

"What did he want?" she asked, sitting down beside me. "Just wanted to say how he enjoyed being with me yesterday and that he wanted me to come round tonight." I said while looking down at my lap.

 "Oh." Was all that Emily could say.

I frowned at her. "What's up with you?" Her and Jay had been going on pretty good, but she just saw it as part of her duty. To me, my feelings for Nathan were genuine.

"I just think that you're getting a little bit too attached to Nathan" she said hesitantly, as if she was wary of my reaction. 

"What?" I blurted out. "This is a part of our job!"

"I know that Kendall, but you're really taking this too seriously. You know what we have to do, you know that this is how its going to end, you can't just hold onto this forever, you'll get hurt!"

"And so what if I get hurt?!" I exploded with outrage. "I couldn't care less what could happen to me, I can't bring myself to kill him, I couldn't live with myself if I did!" A tear rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away furiously.

"Kendall." Emily said softly, taking my hand and holding it in hers. "You don't know what you're talking about. Sooner or later, this will be over and your feelings for him will disappear. Its probably not love you feel for him but most likely lust because you've had sex with him."

I slowly but firmly pulled my hand away from her grasp. Emily looked up at me uncertainly as I stood up from the sofa. I then walked out of the living room saying "No, you're the one who doesn't know what they're talking about."

I heard her exhale from the kitchen as I hastily opened the fridge and grabbed a yoghurt and a spoon from the drawer. I shovelled it down before throwing the empty box in the bin and briskly washing up the spoon and placing it on the drying rack. 

I briefly looked up at the clock, it was half past 5. Time really did fly by, but I wasn't having fun.

I ambled up the stairs to get ready, taking my time to do everything, not wanting to rush since I was starting to get ready so early.

*Nathan's POV*

I moved my phone from my ear and smiled contently. Things with Kendall were really going great and to be honest I couldn't be anymore happier. She was sweet, kind, smart, funny, not to mention absolutely beautiful. 

"What you smiling at?" Tom walked in with Brooke, hand in hand. They sat together opposite me on the sofa, Brooke resting her head on Tom's shoulder. They were both still in their pyjamas, not changing for today like I had. Well, I had a reason to, Kendall would be coming round soon and I couldn't wait to see her again.

"I just got off the phone with Kendall" I couldn't help but grin when I said her name. Brooke smiled as I said my reason for being so cheerful. "That's good, you two really seem to be getting serious." Tom said in his deep Bolton accent, eyeing my reaction. I rolled my eyes at him, Brooke was still smiling. "Awwww little Nath's in love" she cooed. I grinned and murmured sheepishly "Yeah you could say that."

I could vaguely see Tom pretending to be sick from what was just said but I ignored him, trust Tom to be like this. "She's actually coming round her later." I stated, looking for Tom's reaction rather than Brooke's. Just as I expected, Tom raised his eyebrows. "I thought you were going out with us tonight" he said to me, eyebrows still raised.

"Yeah well" I tried to think of a valid reason. "I wanted to see Kendall without you's lot being around and besides, you's are going to an over 21 club tonight, I won't be allowed in."

Tom smiled as I said that. "Ah, yer that's a true point. They might do y'know, you're in The Wanted!"

"I doubt it" Brooke said. "Come on Tom, let Nath stay with Kendall tonight." I was glad that Brooke was on my side. "Alright then." Tom said eventually. "I'm gonna go get ready then, you coming then Brooke?" 

"Sure." Brooke smiled as she took Tom's hand and let him lead her out of the room.

*Kendall's POV*

Making my way to The Wanted's place, I half heartedly tried to get my head round the fact that I would have to be the one to take Nathan's life. I couldn't do it, I couldn't bring myself to do it  because no matter what anyone else said, I loved him. Even though it had only been a month since we first met.

Before I knew it, I was standing on the doorstep and I knocked on the door. Within a few seconds, the door swung open and there stood Nathan in front of me. The house seemed much more quiet than it had 3 weeks ago when I was here at their house party. "Come on in" he said, a flawless smile spread across his face. I smiled back in reply and walked past him as he closed the door behind me. 

"Where is everyone?" I said, looking around. Nathan came and stood by my side before saying "They've gone out to a club, so I guess its just me and you." I heard him smile as he said the last three words. I turned to face him but before I could say anything he offered to take my coat. I shrugged it off my shoulders and he hung it on the banister. 

"So what did you wanna do then?" I asked him, walking into the living room. He followed me inside and lightly put his hands on my hips. "I actually wanted to ask you something" he murmured in my ear. I craned my neck so that I could get a better view of his face. His perfect face.

He took a deep breathe in and as he did this, I turned my whole body around to face him, his hands still on my hips. He then made his hands travel around the back of my waist to form a barrier around me. 

"We've been on a quite a few dates now" he said warily, saying every single word while looking deep into my eyes. "And for me, I've never felt this way about anyone.I'm not really good at this kind of stuff with girls..as you would have already known by my poor chat up line skills when we first met." I couldn't help but laugh at that but he carried on talking. "What I'm trying to say is, will you be my girlfriend?" He bit his lip as he finished his little speech, causing me to slightly swoon.

"Of course" I blabbed out, the words escaped my mouth before I could keep them under control. I had never been more sure of anything in my life, however I didn't expect the words to come out as desperate as they did. I really did have bad self control. 

Nathan then grinned and his eyes twinkled like a million stars had transformed them. "I'm so glad you said yes" he said before leaning in, smiling into the kiss. I kissed him back, my hand then finding their way around the back of his neck, the other wounding my fingers in his dark hair. I tried to enjoy the kiss as much as possible, the first kiss as official boyfriend and girlfriend status.

But something was pulling at my heartstrings, until I realised what it was.

It was guilt. I felt guilty for saying yes so certainly, as much as I did want to be his girlfriend. I couldn't help but feel a twang of hurt on his behalf. Because as much as I wanted to be with him, I knew how this was going to end as Emily's words racked through my head. I had no control over this, or my feelings either. I knew what was going to be the heartbreaking outcome, but what killed me inside more was that Nathan didn't.