playboy bunny - n.s

2.5 ×

i love you all so much thank you for cheering me up youre my inspiration xx

Harry

"You look like shit." Zayn snickers beside me, leaning on my table while he juggled apples on his  hand and I sighed, hiding my face in my arms.

"Fuck off." I seemed grumpier than usual. I don't know why but I was so frustrated and so conflicted about Niall and I. I don't know if I want to ignore this feelings that seem to be blossoming inside of me or to finally man the fuck up and just ask him out on a date.

"This. Is. So. Con. Fu. Sing." I hit my head on my desk softly, groaning and growing more and more agitated.

"Is it Niall again?" Zayn deadpans before he stops juggling, placing the apple beside me, taking a bite of the other one.

I peek up at him, raising my eyebrows before nodding my head slowly.

"It seems that my heart is linked to my dick." I grab the apple out of his hand before biting it and turning my chair around, crunching loudly as I took more bites.

"You're not a girl. It isn't. Listen, if it's bothering you so much I'll just tell Niall he's done." Zayn puts his hand on my shoulder and I shrug.

"No!" I quickly say, shaking my head vigorously and furrowing my eyebrows.

"I don't think I can do the sex thing with others..." I bite on my bottom lip, mentally cringing while I imagine other people calling me daddy and telling me to spank them.

That's... Weird.

"Of course you can." Zayn rolls his eyes, tapping my shoulder while clicking his tongue.

"It's just sex bro..." He gives me a grin before going back to his cubicle and I sigh, my body falling limp on the seat as I look up at the ceiling.

"Just sex huh?" I ask whisper to myself before going back to work and keeping myself busy.

-

"You look... Tired." I comment as Niall shuts the door behind him, his cheeks tinged pink while he gives me a small smile.

It's just sex bro...

What if it isn't?

I grow more irritated with myself and look at Niall who's saying something but I can't hear it since Zayn's voice is still I can't hear anything but Zayn's voice saying "it's just sex" when it isn't. It isn't at all.

I'm fucking inlove with him. There. I finally said it. I admitted it. I am.

I am inlove with Niall James Horan.

How can I not be? He's just amazing he puts up with me and he laughs at my jokes and he listens to whatever the hell I want to rant, he's blunt as fuck and he accepts me as the old fashioned bloke I am.

I'm inlove.

But the thing is I can't be. Niall only sees me as s friend he needs to help, his sweet words, his sweet smiles doesn't mean anything. He doesn't love me. He can't love me and he would never. Once this is all over we'll say goodbye and he won't even remember me because I simply don't matter. I am irrelevant.

It's the painful truth and it has been accepted. I knew that. I knew we won't be a couple but my heart still wants him. I can't control my emotions. I can't control what I feel for him.

"-and I don't know it was sort of rude and all but..." To be completely honest with you I wasn't even listening to Niall. My eyes zoomed in on the pale column of his neck and his lips that were so pink and the way that his adam apple moves when he speaks.