playboy bunny - n.s

2.8

Harry's POV:

I'm pretty sure my heart stopped along with my breathing. Niall was in the hospital and there were so many different scenarios that kept running and bugging my mind. I didn't realize my hands and knees were shaking when Zayn tried to get my attention once again.

"Harry you dipshit fucking snap out of it." He yelled at me and I only blinked my eyes in return. All I could think of was Niall getting hurt and it's all because of me.

It's because I couldn't keep my big mouth shut and god I've never hated myself more than I do right now.

"Where?" I whispered and I could see Zayn's eyes soften. I felt like he pitied me so I looked away.

"I'm bringing you to him. Let's call this a day. I'm sure Ben will understand." He says slowly and I nod. What if Niall's hurt so badly he can't move? Or open his eyes? Or his mouth? Would he hear me out when I apologize? Could he?

Would he hear me when I tell him the reason I was a total dick the past few days was because I was falling for him, when I wasn't even supposed to? When I tell him I've acted like that because I was scared of getting rejected or losing him... Would he able to hear me?

I know it's not an excuse but maybe we could still fix this?

"Harry." Zayn snaps me out of my trance and puts his hand on top of mine. I only smile gratefully at him, that's all I can do right now. I'm so close to breaking down but I can't be. Niall needs me right now and I need to be strong.

"He's gonna be alright I can't stop you from worrying but he's gonna be fine. Niall's a strong man no matter how delicate and soft he seems to be."

"I... I did this to him Zayn- fuck. I really fucked it up and I can't fix this even if I told him I fell for him. He'd never forgive me." I finally tell him my worst fear and I feel relieved I'm able to confide to him, that he's here with me. Zayn is the best friend a man could ever ask for.

"Niall's not like that Harry. He doesn't hold grudges. Believe me and how is this any of your fault? Listen, it's not about that right now. It's just about Niall and he's well being. Focus on that. When he recovers, you can shoot your shot and see how it turns out okay? Let's just focus on Niall first." I nod and bite my bottom lip. Zayn's right. What happened to us that night should be in the back burner right now. I'm going to be at Niall's side and whoever hurt him, I'll make sure he'll pay for it.

—

Liam is there at the front waiting for us when we get there. Zayn rushes up to him and hugs him tightly. I smile as Zayn kisses the side of Harry's head and I almost feel like I'm intruding on their moment.

"Is he fine? What happened?" I choose to ask instead and Liam smiled at me, rubbing the back of his head while his lips formed a pout.

"It's not an accident or anything. Calm down." He pats my back and I sigh out my relief the moment I find out it's not as bad as any of what I've thought about.

"Oh thank God." I let out as I clutch my chest. Zayn chuckles at me and gently shoves Liam as we make our way inside the hospital.

"Harry was gonna go out of his mind so just tell us what happened." He urges Liam and we stop momentarily to go up front to the nurse and tell her we know Niall and we're visitors.

"He collapsed this morning, he was gonna cover someone's shift for like breakfast and then he just lost consciousness. He looked so sickly and so pale and the doctor told me it was from fatigue and skipping meals. He looks dehydrated even, I think once they get some food and water into his system he can probably get out of here tomorrow or the next day." I close my eyes and thank the heavens. I would never forgive myself if something has happened to him.

We make a swift turn, now we're standing at room 305 where Niall is and I feel my hands shaking. What if he yells at me and tells me to get out?

That he never wants to see me again?

"Harry. Chill. It's okay. Niall's not one to make a scene." Zayn reassures and Liam nods and gives me a small smile so we go inside and we see Niall sleeping soundly. I smile but immediately frown when I realize how much weigh he's lost and how pale he was.

"Baby." I sit down at his side, he moves around for a bit but continues to snore.

I hesitate but fuck it. I grab his hand and hold it tight. He needs to know I'm here for him.

"We're grabbing food Harry. Stay here." Liam says and gives me and Niall some time alone.

"You always look so peaceful when you sleep." I sniffle. I don't even know why I was crying.

"I know what I said that night was wrong and I'm not justifying that nor am I defending myself I just- Niall. Fuck. I like you, okay? I like you so much and I- look at me. I'm a loser." By now I was full on crying, proving Niall I was a bigger loser.

"I'm crying I'm a mess I'm so scared I ended up pushing you away. I didn't want to get rejected so I pulled away I didn't want to get hurt and I know I shouldn't have said any of those things, Niall but I was just nervous you'd know I liked you and realize I don't deserve you and-"

"Shut up, idiot." Niall squints his eyes at me.

//

okay but how proud are yall with Niall? FLICKER SOUNDS SO GOOD HE REALLY CAME FOR ED SHEERAN LIKE THAT!!!!! It's such a shame he isn't trying for Grammys. I would have loved to see Niall on it! But who knows slow hands might get a nom?

What do yall think about Harry's self titled?? My mans really out there getting three noms for three main categories! She sobs.