I wonder what it would be like to die. To cut open my veins and end my miserable life. To see those underlying scars, burned as they are, staring back at me, flooding me with pain. And memories.To see my broken and buried heart rise to the surface, never to feel the sun. There is no longer a sun, or hope, or faith. To see the passion of my hate and abandonment rise to my eyes, the window to my being.What would I see? In the mirror? Will it shatter?
Will I...
...see myself fading?
I see myself fading.
...see myself failing?
I see mydelf failing.
...see myself falling?
I see myself falling.
...see myself praying?
I have never prayed.
...see myself breathing?
I will stop breathing.
I don't want to breathe.
...see myself dying?
This would be a blessing.
I want to die.
...see myself ending?
I want to see blackness.
I want to be surrounded in darkness.
I want to hear silence.
I want to taste death.
I want to end.
I am wondering about the end.
I want to wonder.
I will always wonder.
At least, until I can't wonder anymore.
I can no longer wonder.
Goodnight.
This is the end of my wondering.
