Betty Jane and the Cult

o n e

COCKADOODLEDOO!!!!!!!

Betty Jane awoke with a start. "There goes Rufus again." She rose from the bed and let her long, caramel colored waves cascade down her back in one elegant motion. 

She sashayed to the bathroom, humming her favorite hymn under her breath as she went. (Betty Jane loved church almost as much as she loved running her chicken farm.) She then started the water for the shower and hopped inside, sighing as the warm droplets of hydrogen and oxygen particles formed in tiny speckles on her skin. Taking a perfectly round, quarter size amount of coconut scented shampoo into her flattened palm, she swept the mixture into her tresses and breathed in the scent of freshly picked coconuts. Her shampoo was imported from her aunt's cousin's dog's friend's goldfish who lived in the great barrier reef and had lots of access to only the best underwater coconuts. Betty Jane was the only person to know about these coconuts and so her hair was super duper soft. She tilted her head underneath the spray of liquid and allowed the shampoo to be rinsed from her hair. She now lathered body wash onto her limbs, carefully applying the substance around her face. But oh no! It somehow slithered into her left cornea and caused it to burn fiercely. "My oculus sinister!" She shrieked in peril.

Betty Jane hurriedly reached for her extra soft sunset orange pottery barn towel and wiped her eyes. Only now she realized that she had not removed her makeup from the night before and it smeared all over the expensive material! She began to sob uncontrollably and momentarily considered wallowing in her self pity of the horrible day and drowning herself in the shower's stream.

Although, she remembered how pretty she was and got out of the shower instead so she could begin her daily routine. Since Betty Jane was all about the all natural look, she only lightly applied foundation, contour, powder, eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush, and just a touch of mascara with a deep red lipstick to finish.

As she went downstairs to the kitchen, Betty Jane's mother, Wiloma, was preparing a healthy breakfast of pancakes. "Betty Jane! I made your favorite, pancakes with nails and glass shards!"