Dear Kellin [A Kellic fanfiction]

Chapter 1

He was such a lonely boy. He was so tired and sick of being alone. Kellin didn't understand how people got to know each other just like that, it wasn't so easy for him. Everybody hated that boy and everything about him made them writhe up with disgust. Kellin never came across a single person who thought of him as 'normal', maybe thats because he wasnt. Oh no, Kellin wasn't at all what people considered 'normal'..he was so much more. He had a secret, one that he couldn't control. Nobody knew about it except for him and his parents, well..if he should even call them that. He'd been adopted ever since the incident happened and of course Kellin never spoke a word about it to anybody, he never even spoke a word about anything in fact. Kellin had been to many schools in the past yet not a single person befriended him. No, '"Hey Kellin, how are you?" no "Kellin, what lesson do you have next?"..nothing. Kellin was always filled with pure anger, sadness and loneliness in his heart yet all that came out was pure silence although he was articulately screaming inside, wanting somebody..needing somebody just to be close to him. Just to understand who he was and to comfort him, telling him it was going to be okay after everything the poor boy had been through. It wasn't like Kellin to feel the need of befriending somebody so bad as he'd been through his whole life alone so you'd expect him to have gotten used to this downcasting feeling yet having nobody to share with how his day had been or if he'd passed his exams at school wasn't exactly what he wanted. The one thing many people dispised of Kellin was that he was excessively smart, I mean, why wouldn't he be? The fact that he had nobody meant he had nothing to distract him from studying and getting straight A's in everything. All Kellin ever did was study to keep his mind off things. When Kellin wasn't studying, he'd lye down on the wooden floor in his bedroom winding up the music box his real mother gave to him before the she passed and he'd just lye there for hours, listening to its soft slow melody repeat over and over again. Kellin wasn't exactly antisocial yet nobody ever spoke to him first so he remained quiet and waited until somebody gave him at least a small of hint of a conversation starter yet he'd been waiting, lets say for a very long time until he realised that just wasn't going to happen. Every school he had been to he'd been labelled as a 'freak', basically an outsider as he was always segregated from everybody else as no one ever dared to do simple things like sit next to him in the cafeteria or ask him for help with their work. He had always been pushed out and the feeling of not fitting in with the rest constantly rushed over him. He wanted to be like everybody else. Why couldnt he be normal? What caused him to be the way he was? He didn't understand why all this happened to him. He wasn't a bad person, or at least he thought. Maybe he'd never have somebody to be there for him like he'd always wanted. Maybe he'd never have someone to say "I care about you" to him, somebody he knew he could count on, maybe that's just the way it was. Maybe.. that's just the way it was always going to be.

Kellin gradually dragged himself down the secluded road that lead to his new school. He wore a plain white shirt and denim shorts that were ripped only slightly. On his feet he wore black toms that were worn out to the point they were nearly dropping off his feet. Kellin filled with anxiousity as he nervously made his way to the dark eroded gates. The sun beamed down on him making every single step he took slower and slower, he just couldn't bare this much heat. Mexico was so new to him yet the heat was one thing he couldn't cope with. Although he was born in Florida which also had immense heat, he still hated hot weather and how it made him sweat so much. His adoptive parents had moved here with him even though he didn't want to go. They moved around alot spreading the word of their faith because of how religious they were. Lets just say Kellin's adoptive parents werent exactly kind and loving ones. You're probably thinking well, Kellin can't be that alone, he has his carers right? Wrong. They regretted ever adopting him once they found out about the things he could do and that he just couldnt control them yet they had already singed papers on his adoption and couldn't take him back. He wasn't only bullied by everyone around him but also them. Not once in his days had he not escaped of being called 'devil child' and being told he was a mistake to the world yet that was the place he had to call home. He clung onto his bag tighter as he entered the school. It was exactly what he had expected. As he made his way down the overcrowded corridor, every person he came across was dark skinned and so tanned that he literally looked like snow compared to them. Most mexicans were very tanned though, he couldn't help that his skin was so pale. Kellin never did tan, no matter how much time he spent in the sun which wasn't really alot anymore. He walked into the school's office with a huge lump in his throat from his hesitance. The office was plain with white walls and the only thing that actually caught his eye was a brown venerable clock in the corner that ticked as time passed by making it seem like everything surrounding Kellin was fading away with each and every second yet his subconciousness was distracted as he heard a startling voice from in front of him, "May I help you?". He looked down at the small woman sitting at the wooden desk in front of him, the glasses placed on top of her head reflecting at him his own gaze. She too, was utterly tanned. Her brown eyes stared back up at him after she had finished writing something down on paper which Kellin assumed, was a class register of some sort. "Are you new?" She asked after the silence he left her with. He simply nodded in reply and she immeadiately moved across onto her computer before repeating the pattern of typing then clicking her mouse. "Are you Kellin..Quinn?" She pronounced and he nodded at her again, glad that he could avoid the chances of speaking directly to her. She hinted a light smile before clutching a piece of paper in her hand that looked like it had been printed off not that long ago and handed it to him, "Here's your timetable". Kellin hesitantly took it from her, soon scanning his blue eyes over it to see he had english first. He then noticed in the corner of his eye that the woman had stood up from the desk and was staring down at his toms. "Oh my, those shoes look quite worn out, do you want me to search for some new ones for you to wear instead?" yet Kellin just shook his head. These toms were the only shoes he felt comfortable in, even if they were worn out to the point they looked ancient. "Do you want me to show you where your first class is?" she asked but Kellin shook his head once again. He wanted to be independant and find it himself, so that he could remember where other classes were along the way. He walked out without any hesitation and made his way down the corridor again, recieving many stares along the way. The only thing Kellin knew was that he was going to be alone again. He expected nobody to try with him, nobody wouldn't even bother to talk to him. He was so used to this, maybe he should just go. Maybe he should just leave the world. Nobody would notice anyway. They wouldn't care. Not even his parents, he'd be suprised if they even hosted a funeral for him if he was gone. Thinking about it, they probably would because they didnt't want to look like bad parents yet deep down, they wouldn't feel anything of sadness or guilt at all, to be honest, they would be glad they didn't have to deal with him anymore. 

Kellin entered his first class without a single care in the world if he was late or not..and he was. He was at least 5 minutes late yet the teacher looked him up and down as if repeating the students movements who all sat at their desks, observing every single detail Kellin had to offer. He had no intention to look back at them, he already knew their thoughts of him, he already knew the expressions they were yielding towards him yet he didn't bother to even give them a single glance. "You must be Kellin Quinn" the teacher said before taking out a small pen from her pocket and removing the lid, "I'm Miss Carmen and I'm your english teacher for this year. There's a seat at the back of the class all ready for you". Kellin walked down to the empty desk she had gestured him to and sat down, placing his bag by his feet. Miss Carmen started writing things down on the whiteboard, speaking as she did yet all Kellin could hear was the thoughts that were writhing around inside his head. Many people gazed up from their desks, whispering to each other, giving Kellin many quick glares that sent his mind insane, ringing with the thoughts and the whispers that were escaping from them all. 

"Look at how pale he is" 

"Why the fuck did he move here"

"He should go back to wherever he came from"

He looked down at his wooden desk. Running his fingers over the scratches that had been engraved in the wood by previous students who had sat there. He focused his mind on something else. He imagined he was home. He was a child again, his parents and siblings were all still alive. They were with him. Kellin focused everything he had on the scenario he was trying to create in his mind yet it was just too much. His family weren't there anymore, they were ashes. The voices of everybody in the classroom filled his head, he took in every single word from not only what they said, but also everybody else in the classrooms near him, the people outside of the school, people in the world. He felt like his mind was going to convulse at any moment, he just couldn't take it anymore. He jolted up from his seat and ran down the aisle of desks making everybody immeadiately silent yet their words were still throbbing in his mind. Miss Carmen called after him yet he sprinted through the door and down the corridor, locking himself in the janitors closet. He sank down to the floor with his knees up to his chest and buried his head in his hands. The voices were still there, haunting him, and they were loud as fuck. He covered his ears as an attempt to soothe the pain of the noise running through his head and shut his eyes tightly. Just then, he heard it. The silence he'd been waiting for. The voices had stopped and he could hear the sweet sound of nothing. He opened his eyes slowly and got up from the floor, leading his hand towards the door handle. He gently turned it and peeked out to see the hallway empty. He inhaled and walked out before shutting the door behind him. He then exhaled before turning and bumping into somebody unexpectedly making him fall onto the floor with a thud, looking up the mysterious figure that he had bumped into. To his shock, it was a boy who looked about the same age as him yet he wasn't in his english class. He looked up at him as his brown eyes gazed down at him, meeting his blue eyes. "Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there" He said in a polite tone before holding out his hand to Kellin, offering to help him up. Kellin looked at the hand he had held out for him and then back at him. His brown curly locks of hair fell down perfectly to his shoulders and his height was quite short for a boy his age. He was quite muscular and his skin was dark like nearly everyone elses. He gave Kellin a smile, assuring him it was okay to take his hand, "It's alright, I don't bite or anything". Kellin gulped as he reached up and took it, being pulled up from the floor by this mysterious boy that was probably the first person to ever talk to him. "Sorry about that, I should've looked where I was going" he said and blinked before hinting another small smile to him. An apology? Kellin had never gotten one of those before. He didn't know how to react in a situation like this yet he just went along with it like it was a normal, un-occasional thing. "No, it's fine. It was my fault for suddenly appearing like that" he said returning the polite tone the boy had given him. He smiled at Kellin before shrugging his shoulders, "Well, see you around I guess dude". He then stepped at the side of him, making his way down the opposite side of the corridor leaving Kellin aroused by the small conversation they'd just had. Who was that boy? He didn't even reveal his name yet Kellin sensed something strange about him. He didn't seem to think Kellin was weird, right? I mean, at least he didn't think so. Even though it was probably the smallest conversation anybody could ever have, Kellin felt..relieved he had finally spoke to somebody after all this time. It felt..nice to actually talk to somebody like a normal person would..even if it was just an apology.