Suicidal Trigger Warning: mentions of suicide and guns below. Read with caution of possible suicidal triggers.
I hear what sounds like gunshots in the distance, dear god, they're coming for me. I hear a sound like gunshots and screaming and I can't help but think: They're actually coming for me. Then I hear the words about the pain and the hurt and everything and they seem so close. Way closer than before, I sit and I tremble. I'm so terrified and then I hear two more gunshot like sounds one right after the first.
BANG!
BANG!
It sounds like they're outside my house now, I get up and lock the door to my room. I look out the window, they've all gotten out of the car and they're heading inside. There are two young looking girls and two young looking boys also, following right behind them are their older looking parents. I can't help but shake as I am pressured into hiding. Maybe if I take some pills I won't feel the bullet when the trigger is pulled.
Then I hear footsteps down the hallway. I cry into my hands hoping that maybe they'll go away and maybe they'll forget about me and leave. I don't want them to see me at all. I cry and I heave and they hear me. I feel like screaming when they start to turn the knob only to find it's locked. Then it's their turn to scream.
"LET US IN RIGHT NOW!"
I can feel the vibrations of their voice in my feet. I can feel their anger, their sadness their longing, their wants and needs. I need too, I need to live. But I don't want to feel the pain of death. I need to hide, but I don't. I need to have a friend, but all I have is nobody.
We don't always get what we need or want.
No, sometimes what we need is silence. Sometimes we need the sound of screaming and gunshots to stop. Sometimes what we really need is sleep.
Sleep.
Maybe all I needed was sleep.
Then everything would be fine, sleep would ensure I had a break. Oh, how I had needed a break for so long and now the day has come when I will receive it.
I smile as I pick up the gun on my brown night stand and load it. I slip a note under the door, attached to the note is a key.
I smile as I pinch myself to make sure I can't feel a thing. I don't.
I hear the gasp in their voice as they discover the key and a single tear drops from my eye.
They're trying to unlock the door. They're trying to get inside. But no matter how fast they twist the knob they won't make it in time, they can't stop me now. No one can.
The knob begins to turn and I scream.
Here they come. Finally what they've wanted will come true. Their thirst for blood shall finally be quenched. Maybe this will teach them to be careful for what they wish for, maybe now they'll learn the lesson. Maybe now the screaming in my head will stop.
I press the cold and hard gun to the temple of my head and I pull the trigger.
That is my last action, the last thing I do is pull the trigger.
There was a single gunshot in the distance, and then silence.
