DRAMAtical Murder Disorder Short Stories

You and I Will Make It

Koujaku x PTSD!Reader

The idea of death was enough to make you shiver. But the idea of violence or murder was enough to make you have an episode. After the trauma of the tragic death of your parents, your whole perspective on life itself took a turn. Although you've learned not to take all the good things for granted, your life was still hard. The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder you've gained after the whole ordeal you had as a child would never leave you alone, no matter how many years passed by. Although you were only a young woman, what had occurred happened when you were young. It should have gone away, the pain of all of it. But it never did. It reminded you that it happened with each outburst that happened.

Although you've agreed with yourself to live your life to fullest, you still came to the conclusion that life sucked. That was, until he came in. That stupid womanizing hairdresser that you've come to "detest" just had to approach you. Not that you hated it. You've taken a liking to him anyway, despite the fact that many women easily gave their hearts and bodies to him. As disgusting as that was to you, he still was able to pull at your heartstrings in a way that he never did with all of the other girls. He told you tons of things about himself. You did the same. But there was one thing both you and Koujaku didn't tell each other about.

You both had PTSD.

Even without the tattoos, that created the beast inside him, taking effect, he still had panic attacks from the memories that plagued his mind daily. And he trusted nobody with his deepest thoughts and secrets. He was nothing but a monster, and telling you what he had done would most likely send you running. The best thing to come into his life would be gone. As long as he could, he would refrain from spilling and just keep on with his normal life with you. But all of his vows of keeping his secret would be broken once you told him of your situation.

The usual day consisted of stopping by his shop, getting something to drink over at Black Needle, and hanging out wherever. All friendly encounters. But the growing bond between the both of you compelled you to drop your guard and place your faith in him with keeping your secrets. The hours passed by normally, coming over and getting constant glares and even some insults from the women before heading off to Mizuki's tattoo shop again, Koujaku having a couple of shots as the three of you talked. Then you went to a nearby cafe to grab something small to eat in each others company.

"Koujaku. . . I've got something to tell you." You said in a hushed voice, low and solemn. Koujaku's smile disappeared as he leaned forward, at full attention to the situation at hand. The promise between them to keep this between the two of them. The agreement to listen and refrain from saying anything. Then the story. The bloody scene that stayed engraved into your mind to this day, all caused by you. Your ignorance that resulted in the death of your loved ones. Naive little you, who didn't mean anything or mean any harm, told a killer where you resided.

You haven't realized you were in tears until Koujaku went to your side of the booth and embraced you, trembling yet stiff in his place. You placed your hands on his chest to balance yourself in his hold, although he latched onto you desperately. You couldn't see his face; it was buried in the crook of your neck to hide the pain that showed oh so clearly. This all cut him like his own blade slashing through him. He knew this feeling, feeling at fault for the death of someone. And during your story he realized that what the both of you have gone through wasn't because you were killers. You simply didn't know, and that was it.

"I can relate to you." He whispered. "When I was young. . . I unknowingly killed my parents with my own sword. The tattoos on my back, they bloomed and made me a rabid beast. My whole family is gone because of some tattoos that I was told by my father to get. It still makes me cry to this day, seeing everyone in a pool of blood by my hand. . . we need to get out of here before we both break." He stopped himself to get out of the seat, you following along as he kept his arms around your shoulders to hide you in your moments of insecurity and heartbreak. Nobody looked as you two headed out of the cafe.

~

"Koujaku. . . you know that wasn't your fault. If what that guy did had made you unconscious while doing all of that, that's his fault. He's the one that put them on you. But. . ." Your soft and gentle hands skimmed across chest, then his shoulders. Your finger traced the delicate outlines of the flowers that decorated his back. "In contradiction to what these tattoos are meant for, they're still beautiful. Even if they supposedly cause catastrophe, they're a part of you. And that's something you should accept."

Koujaku closed his eyes, enjoying the faint sensations that followed your gentle touch and your body against his while trying to let your words sink in despite the fight with himself in his head. "And what happened to you was a mere mistake. Any unknowing child could have told someone where they live. I'm just curious as to why your parents weren't watching you at the time, or if they told you not to talk to strangers. Regardless, everyone makes mistakes. You're human, just like everyone else. You need to accept that." His calloused hand went to the small of your back, trailing up lightly until he reached your shoulder blade. His other hand did the same until you were wrapped in his embrace once again. "Getting over these things will definitely take time. But you and I can work things out together. We'll accept each other as well as ourselves."

You nodded in agreement, nuzzling your nose in the crook of his neck. "Yeah. You and I will make it."

___________________________________________________________________________________

And here's Koujaku's. It should be clear why I chose PTSD for him.

Next will be Clear.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: A mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event - either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.