I didn't sleep at all. Couldn't imagine why. I kept thinking about ho my dad said he had no answers.. Who doesn't have answers to the choices they make? Maybe its just me.. but every choice you make seems to have a story behind it.
"Bryleigh! Ryan! You're gonna be late for school!" Mom yells
"Coming!" I yell back
"Almost done!" Ryan yells finishing her hair.
"Here's your lunch! Be safe.. and Bryleigh, try not to toture your father with more questions!" Mom yelled as Ryan and I were walking to the bus.
School seems harder now.. maybe because I feel lost and i'm trying to help mself answer questions we all are asking. I never knew how hard it would be to watch your parents fight. I stare into space thinking about how the rest of my night is going to be, then suddenly I close my eyes and picture the good things instead of the bad things.
"RYAN!" I yell across the hall.
Ryan runs to me "What?!?!"
"I know what to do about mom and dad!"
"Please do share."
"In class I was distracted by all the bad things, so I closed my eyes a picture the good things and pushed away the bad!"
"What does that have to do with mom and dad?"
"They need to remember the good things and not the bad.. this is one bad memory all the good memories can cover this ONE bad one!"
"Why didn't you think of this before?"
"Because there was nothing bad to think about before."
"There's always something bad to think about even if we don't know it." Ryan walks away trying to pretend she doesn't care.
We walk home silently, what are we suppose to say to eachother?
"Look, Ryan we have to save this even if we are just 10! There's more to us than people think." I say.
"Yeah, is that so, Bryleigh?" Ryan says sarcasticly
"YES!"
"If that's so true Bryleigh, then why haven't we done anything before now!?!"
"Because before THIS we were ordinary kids!"
"And guess what?! We still are!"
"For some odd reason, I don't believe that Ryan!" I say walking inside.
Ryan stops walking and drops her stuff off inside and walks back outside and slowly finds herself siting in the grass. Her head drops to her hands and she cries, that's all she can do. She finally gets the courage to shake the tears and walk inside.
"Mom? Dad? Bryleigh? Can you please come to the living room?" Ryan yells.
"What is it Ryan?" Mom asks.
"Come on Ry! I have homework." I say
"Close your eyes" Ryan says "Forget all the bad things."
"What is this all about?" Dad asks.
"Would you just do it?" Ryan snaps
Dad closes his eyes
"Picture every good memory we have all ever had together"
"We are all getting lost in this bad moment that we are forgetting all the good ones. This is one bad moment and we are leting it over rule all the good ones!" I say.
Mom opens her eyes and startes to cry. She walks over to us and puts her hand on our shoulders adn gives us a sad look like it didn't help. Dad sits there silently.
The rest of the night was silent, no one said a word to eachother. It was just sadness and confusion and dissapointment.. at this point its just shame we walk around with.
