Chased by the L word

Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for deciding to read this! I hope you like it cos I worked real hard on it. Please comment on my facebook page or anywhere, in person, in the comments section or something! Please tell me what you think one way or another. Please vote and fan and support this story! Thank You xx :)

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Chapter 1-Justin

 

His dark brown eyes are swallowing me up. His body is radiating heat which I can feel around me. I am so close. This is it. Come on Sapphire. Love is gaining; it’s right on my heel. I’ve been running for so long. Is it time to give in? Would I regret it? I don’t know! I don’t know what to do!

 

Justin stands, waiting in front of me. He doesn’t know about the dilemma inside my head. I never told him about any of it. I never told him about my brother, I never told him that I don’t think I can say those 3 words out loud. In fact it isn't the words themselves which weigh heavy on my tounge, but the uninevitable imapct they leave hanging int he air; the danger they provide, the trap. My mouth wants to talk, it hangs half open, but my brain won't let it; I feel like I'm in some kind of trance.

 

He stares into my eyes deeply and I’m scared he can see my thoughts (if that were possible). We are standing alone in a deserted park. The moonlight and the faint glow of the street lights is all which lends us any light.

 

A single shiver runs down my spine.

 

“I love you Sapphire.” No! I had feared this night from the very beginnning. Not now! I need more time! I can’t do it, I’m not ready! I wish I would say something already but the storm of thoughts in my head just won't let up! So...I do the only thing I know how to in this situation.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Those are the only 3 words I can manage to whisper in his ear (not exactly the 3 words he was looking for, I’m guessing), before I turn to sprint away.

 

Oh man, what will he think of me in the morning? I can’t bear to face him. But these thoughts don’t slow me down. I sprint all the way home. I fling myself into my bedroom and lock the door so that I can cry alone. The sobs come and I let them. Justin is left standing there, alone, probably very confused.

 

I am not mad at Justin for saying...that. I am mad at myself for not being able to say it back, having to substitute another set of three words into the place of the ones he had said. Justin had been the fourth guy this year. It was September. Blaine, James and Chris had been hard to leave, but nothing compared to what I just did to Justin. The three before hadn’t said ‘I love you’ but they were very very close to it so...I ran. Leaving Justin standing there in the middle of the park, his face confused and hurt...that was the hardest thing I’ve had to do this year.

 

You see, my name is Sapphire, I run. It’s what I do. I don’t just run, you understand, I am chased. I am seventeen and for the past 5 years of my life I have been chased by the L word. Don’t ask me why because I won’t tell you...not yet anyway. No-one has been able to make me stay and hear me say those three dreaded words to them. No-one!

 

When I was a little girl, I used to dream about my wedding, the perfect boy, my first kiss, saying those words... That was before the...accident-more like incident.