Bound by Duty

Chapter Fourteen

After that night, I kept to my word and didn't go anywhere alone. Micah and I kept up our sessions, focusing more and more on trying to control my unwilling power. Well, control probably isn't the right word, considering it had refused to do anything I wanted in days and seemed to constantly be raging at me. I could feel it beating against my mind, as if it were trying to tell me something, but we just weren't speaking the same language. It was frustrating and exhausting, all at once.

The only time my magic was cooperative was when Micah put me in almost threatening situations. He would deliberately come at me, his own power full-force, demanding a rise from mine. Only during those times did I have moments of complete dominance, where I was working in tandem with my power. I was able to lift larger and heavier items, take sneak peeks into the thoughts of my neighbors — since they were human and couldn't stop me — and my defense just kept getting better. I hadn't had any new issues pop up lately, and for that I was grateful.

Throughout that time, Aidan was my safe harbor. Being in close proximity to him was the only time my power seemed to take a backseat, stopping our constant clashing of wills. The fact that I couldn't stop staring at his lips and wanting him to kiss me probably had something to do with it, but I couldn't think about attacks or power surges, or anything really, when his breath would tickle my cheek as he murmured one of our growing inside jokes in my ear.

I was actually sad to see that my words at the gym had resonated. After that conversation — barring the last light kiss at the gym — he'd kept it all PG-13. We went to a movie and he even made sure to put the armrest down, sitting stoically next to me while holding my hand. I could feel the sexual tension buzzing between us, his aura a constant battle of passion against his desire to make me happy. It was my only saving grace, knowing that it wasn't just me being tortured. It took all of my own willpower to not jump him in the darkness of that theater. I allowed my mind to wander and it took me to places far past kissing. I wondered what he knew that I didn't. What experiences he'd had. He was the only boy I'd kissed and I was still fumbling, at best, to be flirtatious. It was uncomfortable, but made me want to go further, faster.

I kept sneaking looks at him for the entire two hours. I fantasized about what his five o'clock shadow would feel like against my cheek, his coarse hair threaded through my fingers. I played back the few kisses we'd shared in my mind, determined to make him do it again. I watched his profile as he laughed out loud at the actors on screen, the smile shining through his eyes. He laughed with utter abandonment and I loved it.

My knee bounced up and down as I tapped my foot, nervous energy filling me. It had been two weeks since our last kiss in the gym and he had remained annoyingly platonic. He was still playful and cocky, sweet and tender, but only with his words. My last conversation with Rynna echoed in my head, telling me my heart was mine to give. To choose my path.

So I did. I was done waiting and being the saint. I was learning to control my power, so I wasn't afraid of hurting Aidan again. We hadn't seen or heard anything from our random attackers, even with both Micah and Cole doing some discreet digging, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I spent the rest of the movie plotting my move.

It was always lurking in the back of my mind, the fact that things would likely have to change, that Aidan couldn't always be mine, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't keep myself from him. I spent long nights having conversations with myself around all the reasons I shouldn't allow this to happen, but all it took was one look from him to root me right back to his side. The bottom line was that I was eighteen, I rationalized to myself. And, I was Immortal. I had years and years of life in front of me. Why did I owe anything to all of these people who had never tried to help me? After everything I'd been through, I owed this to myself. I'd earned this time with Aidan.