pictures // nam taehyun

한one

he held the picture that they took before she went away in his hands. his tears fell on the picture and he quickly wipes them away.

he glances at his wall with all of his pictures hanging there. he couldn't get her out of his head. still she's gone. all of this pictures remind him of what they could have been. but never been.

he looks up to the clock that is ticking on his wall. he reaches for it and looks at it.

he realizes that humans are like time. humans change chronologically, so as time ticks, so do we.

time continues to tick and we can't stop time. just like we can't stop growing older and changing. he wishes he could turn time back to all those happy moments they shared together and stop time there.

but we continue to change which is impossible to stop. we can only look back on ourselves and eachother at each point in time to admire how far we've come.

"this is bullshit", he curses and throws the clock against the wall. he falls on his bed and continues crying.

"hitomi, why did you leave me?", he sobs. he looks at their pictures again. they remind him how they used to be. he was happy that he took so many pictures with her. his purpose originally was to admire them today. but they cause him pain.

how is he supposed to move on? how are people supposed to move on when the past keeps pulling them back? everything reminds him of her. everything.

isn't it weird how somebody enters your life and simply can go and you can't do shit about it.

"oh god, it hurts so much. can't you feel my pain, hitomi? have you felt pain when you left me?"

again taehyun kicks his door and starts punching the wall repeatedly. "this doesn't help. living without her isn't worth it. i am still wondering why i haven't killed myself yet.", taehyun sighs. "i miss your warm embrace, hitomi", taehyun says, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"no, no i miss everything about you. every little thing. jesus, i miss you so much. come back to me.", taehyun frowns, falling on his bed. he wipes away his tears.

"i am ludicrous. how did i end up like this? because of a girl. just because she left. trillion of people already did that and i wasn't desperate at all."

he hears a soft knock on his door and turns his head to it. "all attention is on the mysterious man behind the door. whoever it is simply fuck off.", taehyun says, frankly.

"i brought food, you ungrateful little fuck. eat or i'll come in or stuff it in your mouth to stop you from dying after that i'll stuff your mouth with my old dirty socks. jesus, i am your hyung. have respect.", minho scolds him and rolls his eyes.

taehyun hears minhos steps getting quieter and stands up again.  "maybe i should take those pictures off of the wall-", he starts his sentence and takes a step forward to the wall with all of their pictures hanging there.

"-they only remind me of her. and it doesn't help me moving on.", he sighs, going through his hair with his fingers.

"if you ask me, you should hang up pictures of new moments. maybe with us."

"jinwoo, were you listening all this time?", taehyun asks, stepping closer to his door.

jinwoo leans against the door and sighs. "somebody has to make sure you don't kill yourself, shithead." taehyun chuckles at jinwoos sentence. 'cute', taehyun thinks to himself.

"consider my idea, taehyun"

"i will, hyung. i will."

___

new book
this book will be kinda
sad but
it will get happier
dont worry
stay healthy and take care
of yourselves!! :-)💗