The Second Chance

Chapter 1

*Listen to the song above while reading this chapter

I stared at the girl looking back at me in the mirror. The one with layers of makeup, to hide her blemishes. The one with a dress that barely covers her body, to hide her insecurities.The one with a giant smile, to hide her tears.

Yeah, this should work.

I quickly ran my fingers through my golden hair one more time to make sure the perfect waves would stay intact. Of course all of this effort will be gone within the first hour, after the first dozen red solo cups. But at least for these couple of minutes i'll feel like someone who isn't a hot mess. I'll feel like the girl who isn't a slut. The girl who can actually smile without acting. Just for a couple of minutes.

 I continued to gaze into the thick glass, wondering if I look hard enough if maybe something will change. Maybe i'll be beautiful. 

I rolled my eyes making sure not to smear my makeup. I'll never be beautiful, at least not without all this. No one told me I was beautiful before all of this, not even my own parents. But now everyone stares at me as I walk down the street. It doesn't even matter what they stare at. It's still me.

I tore my eyes away from the mirror. One more second of staring into my empty hazel eyes and I might start balling my eyes out right here. But I spent 3 hours perfecting this makeup, 3 hours of covering up the girl I used to be.

I had spent plenty of hours crying, sulking in alone. Time I could've spent making myself better. Stronger. 

I was a mess, just not a hot one like I am now. 

Soon. I thought to myself. Soon all of this will be forgotten, every worry. Every ounce of pain will disappear. And i'll finally be happy. Just with a can of beer in my hand. 

I heard a slight buzz and diverted my attention. My eyes wondered around my room until it landed on the device responsible for taking me out of my thoughts. A rose gold I Phone , layer out on my fluffy white bedspread. I quickly picked it up and felt a since of security having it in my hand. I know pitiful.

Sarah: Pick u up in 5

I took a breath, and looked at the screen again. I didn't realize it was already time for the party. As much as I try I still can't seem to stop myself from being the most disorganized person on this planet.

Me: Kay see u soon

As soon as I pressed send I sprinted around the room stuffing all my necessities into a the coach purse I used for events like this. It had plenty of drinks spilled on it, and the occasional puke stain. It was still important to me for some reason though. Like a part of me. Or at least everything that's left of me.

Phone. Check.

Lipstick. Check.

Mints.Check.

Aspirin.Check.

I felt myself collapse on my bed as I finished my scavenger hunt. I really need to clean up this freakin pig stye I sleep in. Whatever i'll do it later. Or not. Probably not. 

I never let the maid come in my room. There were too many memories and tears in this room that I didn't want her to see. Of course that means it's up to me to clean it, and I am not an organized person;

I looked out the window that spread across an entire wall of my room. Sure enough sitting out in the San Francisco heat was a deep red Ferrari with a brunette with a straight bob and crop top at the wheel. She was on her phone as always, and scowling at nothing in particular. Just a ball of pure joy. I raced out of my room forgetting to shut the door behind me.I was cautious as I walked gracefully down the marble steps, you never know when a heel can come from under you, and next thing you know you're in the ER with a broken leg. Trust me, I know.