"Dirk, I'm sorry, I just don't feel the spark anymore.."
"Jake, you can't possibly be serious. We've only been together for a few months! God, you can't be leaving me. I love you."
"I'm sorry, but.. I don't feel that back. Y-You're a really great chum, Dirk, and you know I hate making you feel like this, but.. You're great, I'm sure you'll find someone. Keep it up, pal.."
"..."
The phone line disconnected.
Dirk sat there in silence for a few seconds, eyes slowly watering. He couldn't believe this. Sure, he and Jake had only been together since their freshman year in college, but.. He meant the world to him. And his world had been violently ripped out of his grasp with the sound of a ringtone. Eventually, he reached over and hugged Cal, his favorite puppet, sobbing into his plush fabric. He screamed, cried, threw things around, abused lamps and other glass decorations, not even stopping to breathe.
He was taking this the wrong way, of course, but it was just how he reacted. He'd treated Jake the right way, right? He'd given him a birthday present, took him out on dates weekly if not more, and the two had frequent cuddle sessions. After a while of thinking, he came to some off conclusions.
Jake was, by far, not the only boy he'd ever loved. He'd dated many, many times, and every time, he was the one getting broken up with. He realized it wasn't their fault, oh no. It was his. He was poison, he ruined relationships. He messed everything up. He thought for a while longer, getting out a pencil and paper. He hadn't even stopped to look at the date.
~~
A few hours later, Jake knocked on his door, grinning and holding a few roses. He'd wanted to play a prank on him for April fool's day, as suggested by his cousin, John. He chuckled a little, just walking in when he didn't answer. He wasn't even aware that he'd hurt Dirk in playing this prank.
He looked around, shouting. "April fool's, Dirk! I got you some flowers, just figured I would.." He looked around a little more, finding nobody. This made him rather nervous, as the place was trashed. He let out a scream as he walked into the bathroom, dropping anything he was holding in his hands and letting out a sob, falling to his knees.
On the ground, there was a note. With shaking hands that brushed a boot, he reached for it, about to puke.
'I'm sorry you don't feel that spark anymore. I'm sorry I fuck everything up. I'm /sorry/.'
He read it in shock, reaching over to the toilet and gagging. He quickly phoned Jane, almost intelligible over the phone. He looked back up at Dirk, swinging from a rope.
He didn't have the strength to stand up and untie him, just sitting there and hugging his leg, mouthing something over and over.
'April fools.'
