His Insecurities (Larry Stylinson Oneshot)

Louis' Insecurities (One Shot. Larry Stylinson)

Louis lets the cool blade run across his wrist slowly, soaking all the pain up. Watching the blood run down his arm onto his bedroom floor. Tears run down his face but he doesn't seem to care, he hasn't cared in a long time. Right now all he's focused on is the pain stinging his wrist. He wishes he didn't have to hide anymore. He wishes that him and Harry could run away together and not worry about management, fans, and his career. When he comes to think about it, He wonders why Harry is still with him and why he hasn't left him yet. Harry could get anyone he wanted, but he chose Louis. 

He deserves better.

Better than him. Louis gets up from the floor of his bedroom and he walks to the bathroom. The cold floor beneath his feet makes him shiver vigorously. He switches the light on and looks at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and grimaces. He feels disgusting and worthless. He hates the way his smile gives him crow's feet, He hates the way his stomach pokes out, He hates the way he looks so feminine. Louis turns on the faucet and rinses off his cuts. The cooling water burns on his skin and he winces. He hears the front door open and close, as he hears Harry's voice fill the silence of their shared flat.

"Boobear, I'm Home."

Louis eyes widened slightly and He turns off the faucet, He looks through his cabinets trying to find something to cover up his fresh scars. 

"Boo? Where are you?"

He hears Harry's soothing voice booming as Harry enters their bedroom. Louis can't find anything to cover up and he's flipping out. Harry notices the bathroom light is on and He walks to the door, twisting the door knob. It's locked. Louis didn't even notice he locked the door, but he's glad he did. He releases a shaky breath and watches the door knob twisting and turning as Harry fumbles with the door.  

"Lou, open up! I've got us bagels."

"I-I'm not h-hungry." His voice is shaky, and he sounds so vulnerable and helpless. He hates it.

"Are you okay, Boo?" Harry's voice goes completely serious.

"I-I'm fine Harry! Can you leave me alone now?!" He weakly snaps and he's really trying to contain his breathing and nervous stutters. He leans his back against the counter and he looks at Harry's feet peaking through the bottom of the door.

"Unlock the door."

"No."

'Unlock the door, Louis." His voice raising slightly.

"N-no Harry." Louis can feel tears brimming through his eyes. He closes his eyes trying to ignore  the burning feeling of the tears threatening to fall.

"Please Louis" His voice pleading and he almost sounds as vulnerable as Louis. That's the breaking point for Louis. His tears fall and his breathing quickened. His tears are streaming and he lets out a few quiet sobs before speaking again.

"I-I can't, You're going to be - Louis stops mid sentence, another choked sob filled the air - disappointed and d-disgusted."

"No no baby. I love you, so, so much. Open the door. Please."

Louis straightens up from the position he was in and envelops his small hand around the door knob. He doesn't want Harry to see him like this, but he can hear Harry's voice pleading and he gives in. He unlocks the door and opens it slightly before going back to his previous position, He hides the abused arm behind his back. Harry walks in and he studies Louis face.  Sadness, Lost, and guiltiness. Harry slowly walks over to Louis and enrolls Louis into a hug. Louis put his face in Harry's neck and breathes in his scent, which immediately calms him down a bit. He can feel the heat radiating off of his body and he cries even harder. Harry coos in his ear and shushes his him as he whispers reassuring love you's. Harry pulls back but still has his arms wrapped tightly around him. "What's wrong babe?" "N-nothing Haz"

"Louis" 

 "I-I can't. I'm s-sorry."

"Listen, I love you. I will never judge you okay, you should know that by now. You mean the world to me, Louis. I can't stand to see you so sad. Please tell me, Louis. Please"

Louis pulls his arm from behind his back and he shows it to Harry. Louis closes his eyes again so he won't have to see Harry's disappointed face - He doesn't think he would be able to handle it. His tears are pushing against his eyelids once more. "W-why L-L-Louis?" Harry's voice cracks and Louis could tell he's about to cry too but Louis doesn't respond. "Why?" Louis slowly opens his eyes and looks in Harry's eyes. He studies his face, watching every emotion that passes Harry's face. Sadness, Lost, Gultiness. "Harry, I-I'm so sorry. I'm so sorr - Louis choked on a sob and continued - I love you. Please don't be mad at me. Please. Don't hate me I -"

"I love you, Louis. I can never hate you. Why can't you understand that? Why can't you see yourself, the way I see you?"

"I don't deserve you, Harry. What do you see in me? I'm not funny, I'm not attractive, I'm not tall or muscular. Why are you still with me?"

Harry watches Louis in complete disbelief before speaking, "Do you really think that? Louis, If anything, I don't deserve you. You're beautiful. So beautiful - Look at me, Louis - You don't have to be tall to be acctractive and Louis if you haven't noticed, You still have the biggest biceps in the band even after three years. I'm going to make sure that you see how perfect you are to me"

At this point, Louis has tears literally streaming down his face. He is so lucky to have someone like Harry. He can't believe it, to be honest.

"H-Haz, Thank yo-"

"You don't have to thank me, I'm not doing you a favor. I'm telling you the truth. Go sit down on the bed, Lou"

Louis complies and he moves past Harry to make it to their bed, and sits down. "Haz"

"Shhhhh.."

Harry sits across from Louis so that their knees are touching. Harry grabs both of Louis' hands and intertwines them, He then kisses Louis' knuckles softly. "I'm going to tell you about this beautiful boy named Louis, He's been my boyfriend for three years and I love him so much. He has a beautiful white smile that can brighten a room in seconds. He has these ocean blue eyes that crinkle when he does that captivating smile. He has small hands that fit perfectly in mine and it makes him feel 'safe and secure'. He is 5'7 and he has to stand on his toes to kiss me, He thinks it's embarrassing but I think it's beautiful. He has dark brown hair, that he either pulls up in a Quiff or he lets it lay on his face like a Fringe. He has adorably small ears and I always enjoy biting it. He has button shaped nose and a delicious looking arse. Louis' public image has a girlfriend named, Eleanor, but his private image has a boyfriend named, Harry, and Harry loves Louis very much. Harry loves every little thing about Louis and He doesn't want Louis to change for no one - Harry pauses to kiss every scar on Louis' wrist before continuing again - You're perfect, Lou. I don't want you to forget that. I love you so much that for the lifetime we spend together,  I'm going to remind you every day. Every single day. These scars you have represent the struggle you went through, and I was so oblivious to notice what was going on. I'm so sorry, Louis. But I promise that for now on that I'll always be there for you. Always."

Louis' lets every word sink in and then pulls Harry in for a Kiss that is filled with his unspoken words of thank you's and i love you's. They both close their eyes and savor the feeling of their lips touching because once they go in public, they would have to act distant towards each other.

The kiss goes on for a couple minutes before they break apart.

"You're perfect, Harry"

"You're Perfect, Lou."

A/N: SORRY IF IT'S BAD, IT IS 2AM AND IM SLEEPY BUT I WANTED TO FINISH IT FOR YOU GUYS :)