Love Bite

Issues: Part I

 Some Appledash here. Hope you won't mind ^^' Also a warning: Major swearing. When is there not though?
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In the past, I've had issues with committing. My relationships never worked out because of me. I tried dating Applejack once. Just to get used to dating a girl. My parents convinced me that I was supposed to be straight. I couldn't be bi, lesbian, pan, whatever. It was considered weird. My brother came out to them when he was about sixteen. He's twenty now and he's happy. They haven't spoke to him in a while because he's gay. I don't see how that's a problem. Not anymore. 

 Back to the whole dating Applejack thing. She agreed to it because she's Applejack. She's the greatest friend ever and she's loyal as fuck. Too kind. Even if she's stubborn as hell. She'll do anything to help her friends and I love that about her. Our relationship lasted about two months. It meant a lot to me, and she knows my lifestyle. It's alright. She wasn't mad when I told her I finally found someone I liked. We were just friends. Kinda like friends with benefits. We still joke about it from time to time.

 I didn't want to hurt Fluttershy. I liked her a lot. She meant everything to me, but we couldn't be together. Some kind of stupid ass stereotype thing. People have hammered dark thoughts into everyone's heads. They're taught to believe that certain things aren't normal. 

 "You've been thinking for a while." Fluttershy interrupted my thoughts. She was leaning against the wall, a book resting in her hand. 

 "Oh. I guess so," I sighed and stared back down at the pillow. I hate this. 

 "Is there anything you want to talk about?" I thought about it for a moment before shaking my head.

 "No. Thank you though."  

 "I think there is. I don't mean to pry, but if something's bothering you, I'd like to help." I could hear the sincerity in her voice. It only  made me more nervous. It only made me anticipate everything more. 

 "Nothing's bothering me. It's whatever." Fluttershy simply nodded and turned on her heels to leave. 

 "Goodnight." With that last word, the door closed behind her. My face hit the pillow underneath me and I groaned. 

 "Fuck life." Someone decided to knock on the door exactly five seconds before I started to cry. Great. I probably look like a mess.

 "Come in," I cursed at the way my voice wavered.

 "Everythin' alright? Ya haven't been down in a while and usually yer up pretty late." Damn that country accent. 

 "Yeah. I'm fine," Liar.

 "Yer not." 

 "I am, AJ, I swear to God."

 "You don't believe in God-"

 "Does that matter? Anyway, I'm fine." Applejack sat down next to me and simply stared. I felt like her eyes were fucking burning into my soul to be honest.

 "Okay fuck! I'm not fine." 

 "Ah know. Talk to me." She smiles and I feel a little safer. Not safe enough to talk about what's on my mind though. 

 "I can't." 

 "You can." 

 "Don't start this shit again, AJ." I glared at the blonde. 

 "Alright. Can't force ya. Just sayin', but it'd make us feel a lot better." She stood up and began walking towards the door. God fucking damn it. 

 "Okay- Just, stay. I'll talk." Applejack smirked in victory. 

 "What's on yer mind, sugarcube?" Sugarcube. She hasn't called me that in a while. I kind of actually missed that annoying ass nickname. 

 "Just a relationship." Simple. Maybe she'd let me get away with that.

 "You and Fluttershy? Explain." Or not. How lucky I would have been. 

 "Yes. Y'know that I've had issues with committing, right? I don't want to hurt her, AJ. I don't know. It's stupid. Whatever I'm feeling." I can't even describe it like I want to. Perfect. 

 "Hey, ah think you can do  it. Jus' go for it. Seriously. You'd be amazed with how much she talks about ya," The southern teen smiled and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Really. You're a great person. Sometimes." 

 I grinned at her, "Sometimes? You mean all the time." 

 "Don't get cocky." With that, she left. The doubt went away for a bit. Only to return ten times as worse at fucking three in the morning. I've always had issues. Always will. I just don't know if she can handle them.