City Kiddy, Meet Mountain Brat (bxb)

Chapter 21

I slammed the door behind me, making the windows rattle in their panes. Emmy and Dad followed me quickly. Jill bustled out of the kitchen to see what was going on.

"Clayton, don't slam the door." Dad chided calmly. Calmly?!?!?! Why was he so fucking calm!? "We got good news today-"

"Good? GOOD?! are you out of your mind? Good!? I haven't heard anything less good, aside from you're going to die!" I yelled across him. Emmy took my arm and pulled me so I wasn't facing him, forcing me to look her in the face.

"Clay, please, don't do this." She whispered.

"Emmy." I pleaded with her, begging her to be on my side. Please Emmy back me up, don't make me keep doing this alone. "There has been almost no change in the tumor. It's still growing, I'm still dying."

"But it's not in the part that makes you sleep anymore." He sniffed back tears, I was holding her hands way too tight. "Y-your sleep patterns should g-go back to normal. You won't have to be awake for days."

"If I had four more months of chemo the tumor might, MIGHT, have shrunk down enough to operate on a section in my frontal lobe. I don't have four more months, I have two. The cancer isn't dying, it's wrapping itself tighter inside my head because we are trying to kill it. Chemo is killing me faster!"

She was really crying now, sobbing as she looked at me, still holding my hands even as I crushed hers.

"Clayton that's enough." Dad said a hand on my shoulder.

"You're right, because I am done, no more chemo, no more radiation, no more anything, I'm done. I've had enough. I tried."

I meant it, I was so tired, so discouraged. I can't believe it had all been for nothing...I wasted two months. I could feel my chest tighten just thinking about it, my eyes burned. I loosened my grip on Emmy's hands, but she didn't let go. She knew exactly what I was thinking.

But dad's hand squeezed tighter. "I don't know what you think you're talking about Clay. You're not giving up."

Please dad, don't do this.

I looked back at him, his jaw was set, his eyes narrowed. "Dad?"

"There is a chance."

He really was doing this, he wasn't going to let me go. "No, there isn't." I said, forcing my voice steady. Emmy let go as I turned back to him. "I am not going to die like this. I will not die miserable."

"You're not going to die at all."

"Give it up." I growled. "Stop telling me how to die!"

"I let your mother go, I will not watch you give up too. You are my child you will do as you are told. Get your shoes or you'll be late for chemo."

"I'm not going!"

"You will go if I have to drag you every step of the way!" He shouted at me.

Right there, it was the first time I saw it, a desperation behind his eyes. "You aren't dead yet and I won't let it happen!"

"It's already happened!! I'm fucked!"

His grip was like a vise under my arm as he dragged me towards the door, stooping for just a second to scoop up my boots before he shouldered the door open. I looked back, in a panic. Emmy and Jill looked too stunned to move and Max was standing in the doorway, just watching. He locked eyes with me and looked away, turning back into the living room.

I couldn't pull away, dad was stronger then me?! I don't know when that had happened, but I was trapped, partially down the steps before Emmy and Jill grabbed his other arm.