Life Happens- 1941

Chapter 9

“Oh-my-gawd.”  Betty twirled her finger around the rim of her martini glass.

“You really did it?  Honey, now what are you gonna do when this man goes off to the war? That’s what I’d like to know.”  She paused briefly to munch on an olive.  “I can tell just by looking you in the eye that you love this man a lot.  Sweetie I just don’t want to see you end up heartbroken, I don’t want to see you become a statistic.   If he gets hurt you’ll go mad.  If you go mad I’ll go mad trying to help you and we’ll just end up as a big bunch of mad-”  I laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Are you planning to let me get a word in edgewise?”

Betty looked at me with a fake, serious face, “No.”  We both laughed.

“Betty firstly, I might point out, there is no war yet.  Elliot is simply being deployed, not shipped off to war.  Who’s to say there will be a war.  No one can predict that.  For now I just pray every night that God brings him back home to me.  However, I do love that man.  I love him with all of my heart and soul.  You know it, I know it, he knows it.  Because of that, I daresay he’s worth the risk.  Furthermore, I am already mad.”  Betty tried to suppress a grin, and hid behind her martini glass.  She took a gulp.

“Charlotte the fact of the matter is, this is real.  Elliot could die out there.  If he gets killed you will never get him back.”

“I know.”  Betty started to tear up and wiped her cheek carefully on the sleeve of her rose colored blouse.

“I just don’t want that to happen to you.  To Elliot.  To both of you.”

“I don’t either.”

~*~

I crawled into bed.  My head was pounding.  My stomached churned.  One martini had been one too many.  I pondered what Betty had said earlier.  She was right, if Elliot left I might never ever get him back.  Ever.  That word dug into my heart and I could feel it dropping in my chest.  A large lump formed in my throat.  I laid in bed and thought to myself about how close Elliot and I were.  The tears came fast.  The martini came faster.  I ran to the bathroom.  

After successfully managing to make it to the toilet before I threw up, I went to the sink and splashed my face with cold water several times.  I didn’t dry my face.  Instead I curled up in a ball on the cold tile and sobbed.  I cried out in pain.  I prayed.  I talked to myself as though I were pleading with Elliot.  I pretended he was hugging me.  I did this for two hours without stopping.  At quarter after ten, I changed into one of Elliot’s shirts and crawled under the covers of our bed and stared at the ceiling.  I got bored.  I went outside.

The stars were out in full glory.  The moon was beautiful, like a giant yellow orb.  My head still hurt but my stomach felt better.  The crying had drained all of my energy.  I laid down in the grass and stretched my fatigued body.  I felt like I had been hit by a truck.  I flinched as I felt someone lay down next to me.  Elliot was smiling at me.

“Are you okay?” He laid his hand on my cheek and kissed me tenderly.

“I don’t know.”  I whispered.  Elliot traced the tear stains down my cheek with the tip of his fingers and stopped at my mouth.  He touched my lips.

“Shhh.” He whispered back. He ran a hand through my hair.  He looked tired.  

“I don’t know if I can do this, Elliot.”  I started crying again.  He reached for my hand.

“We’re gonna get through this Charlotte.  Both of us.  We’re going to be okay.”  He squeezed my hand.

“How do you know that.”  It was more of a statement than a question.  Elliot pulled me into him and I buried my head in his chest.  I listened to his heart beat.  Thump.  I loved him so much. Thump.  He just couldn’t leave.  Thump.  Oh God, I love him.  Thump.

“I don’t.”  I looked up at him, into those mesmerizing blue eyes.  His eyes started to fill with tears.  “I don’t know.  Damn it.  I don’t know.”  He ran his hands through his hair and the tears fell faster and faster.  I looked away.  I couldn’t see through the water clouding my vision.  I shook my head and flung my arms around his neck and he kissed me.  

“We need to figure it out.”  I whispered again.  

“We will.”  He concluded.

“I love you Elliot.  I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Charlotte.  I love you right up to the moon and back.”  I looked up at the moon.  Was it possible?  To love someone up to the moon and back?  I looked at Elliot again.  Our noses were touching.  I studied his face.  He had a lot of eyelashes. The moon reflected off his eyes.  His breath tickled my skin.  His skin was soft and slightly reassuring.  His arms felt strong, secure.  

“Charlotte.”

“Hmmm?”

“One day we’re going to grow old together.”  I smiled through my tears.

“No I’m serious.  We’ll both have grey hair and sit on the porch swing and watch the sunset and drink ice tea and pretend we’re seventeen again.”  I kissed his cheek and snuggled up against him as though I could never get close enough.

The next day he surprised me with a detour down to the beach.  It was warm for late March.  We packed a picnic basket and took the bus forty-five minutes to the ocean front.  I was wearing a white bathing suit, no shoes, and a blue knit pullover.  Elliot wore no shirt, a pair of olive green swim trunks, and sandals.  His hair was messy and he had a little stubble on his face, the product of not shaving.  We held hands as we walked down the patches of warm sand.  Couples walked by just like us, holding hands and absorbed in each other’s company.  Parents carried their small children with sippy-cups and crackers.  Fisherman hauled their tackle boxes to the docks.  It was, a perfect moment.  

We set up our towels down by the edge of the beach, on the far side, away from all the noisy beach-goers.  I slipped my sweater off and tossed it to the side.  Elliot took off his sandals.  We lathered each other with sunscreen.  

For the next few hours we frolicked in the water, watched seagulls dive-bomb fish, collected shells, made a sand castle.  I even got the honor of burying Elliot in sand, much to the amusement of the nearby kids.  We munched on ham sandwiches and grapes.  We sprawled out in the sun together to let our lunch settle.  I fell asleep watching a young boy chase after a crab in the sand.  When I woke up the sun was setting.  Most of the crowds had left.  Elliot took me by the hand and we walked down to a nearby grill and bar.   I was slightly in a daze from the warm sand and sun and sleep.  Billie Holiday was playing on the radio.  God Bless the Child…  We went to the bar and Elliot ordered two Clipper Pale beers.  The bartender slid it to me from across the counter.  I wrinkled my nose.

“What is this stuff?”  

“What, you don’t like it?” Elliot chuckled.

“No.” I glared at him.

“It’s Clipper Pale.”

“Beer?”

“Maybe.”  I grinned at him suspiciously.  

“Sir,” I addressed the bartender. “I think I’ll just have a water.”  

“You betcha.”  He smiled at me and ducked behind the counter again.  I watched the couples on the dance floor sway to Artie Shaw’s Stardust.  I took a sip of my water and grabbed Elliot.  “Let’s go out there.”  I pointed to the middle of the room where everyone was dancing.

“You want to dance with me?”  He feigned a look of surprise.

“Yes.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”  

“Okay.”

Somebody changed the radio station and Frank Sinatra and Tommy Dorsey crooned from the radio, I‘ll Never Smile Again.  Elliot placed his hand on my shoulder and I put mine around his neck.  We moved gracefully around the floor, my head against his chest.  I was peaceful.  He was content.  The red glow from the OPEN sign illuminated his face and I thought he was the most beautiful man I had ever met.