With EXO

SUHO: Looking at those Drops

YOUR POV

Pure black.

Everywhere that my sight lays on are all basically black. But I don't care. I'm used to it anyway. I've been in this black world a very long time ago. For all those years, I learned to accept and love it.

This black world is now my comfortable place ever. It gives me no pain. It gives me no reasons to be sad. It does not give me a chance to see the bad and the negative things.

Anyway, this cold bed where I'm lying for what I felt a lifetime is my bestfriend. It doesn't know how to leave my back, literally. And I also didn't know how to leave this bed.

It became my best buddy since I'm introduced in this black world. It accompanies me whenever I sleep, think, cry and reminisce some moments. It completely understands me ... I think.

"And how's my favorite girl? Haha. Thank God, we have no schedules for today. I've got a chance to visit you (y/n)."

Oh! I almost forgot. Aside from this bed, Junmyeon is also my bestfriend. Yes, you read it right. The rich daddy and leader of the boy group EXO, Suho, is my bestfriend. That's why I feel so lucky.

I'm also an avid EXO-L. I'm in love with their music and dances. And I'm also in love with their Yoda member, that guy named Park Chanyeol.

Actually, we're on a relationship. It has been a year since then but the sparks and the magic still seems to be fresh for me. I know he loves me. He always say to me how he's so deeply in love with me. And I feel the same way too. That's why it's odd to know that he doesn't visit me here.

"I have here some foods and flowers for you. These are all your favorites (y/n).

"Where's Chanyeol?" I badly miss my boy.

"Ouch. I'm here. Your bestfriend is here, with all of these flowers and food but you're looking for someone else. You're such a meanie."

"Haha. Stop your crazy tantrums, Junmyeon. So where's my Chanyeol?"

"Uhm, he's in a taping right now. You know, his new drama."

"Junmyeon, please take good care of Chanyeol. He's such a joker. He's a smiling machine. He might look tough on the outside, but he's still the boy who got a sensitive part inside. Too bad, I can't see him ... literally. I haven't even got a glimpse of his smile. I just ... felt him, no more, no less. I know and I can feel that I can't make it for too long. I can't fight this misfortune. Maybe tomorrow, or the next day ... I'd be dead. I'd be dead. I'm unfortunate. I'm hopeless." My eyes are like waterfalls as of this moment, but who cares? My heart is hurting emotionally and literally.

I'm still amidst of crying when I felt big arms enveloping my fragile body from my side.

"Erase those thoughts of dying, (y/n). You're not going to die. You're going to live longer. You'll even get married one day. You'll have your family. You're going to be happy. Don't ask me to take good care of Chanyeol because you are the one who's going to fulfill that. Stop hurting yourself (y/n). You're a strong girl. I believe in you."

I knew I'm not the only one who's crying right now. His warm tears continue to drop on my forehead.

I can't help but cry even more. I'm a bad bestfriend towards him. I always make him sad and worried. I cause nothing but sadness to him.

I'm a pathetic, expiring person.

SUHO'S POV

I love this girl for a long time now but she only takes me as a bestfriend.

I love her. But she loves Chanyeol.

But Chanyeol doesn't give a even a bit of damn about her.

I swear I want to spill everything to her, of how Chanyeol doesn't even love her back, but I don't have the heart.

I don't want her to be hurt. I don't want her in pain. She has experienced a lot of dreadful pain already. I don't have any right to cause her another batch of pain.

She's fragile.

She's too fragile. She's badly sick and we already knew that she only got few months remaining.

Her body gradually weakens day by day. She also got blinded by her disease.

I don't know anymore. I know I have been a good person ever since, but why am I experiencing all of these things?

I'm in love with my bestfriend.

I'm in love with a dying person.

I'm in love with a girl with somebody else's on her heart.

Life is too cruel towards me, towards her.

~

Xx