Surviving a Sister's Suicide

Chapter 2

The church had an eerie silence; Emmie's casket was open for all to see her, but her wrists were down so you couldn't see the cuts. Walker and I stood there staring at our deceased sister, we silently cried, and we cursed God for letting this happen.

We knew it wasn't his fault, we knew who had pushed our sister to this point, Trevor did this. Emmie looked peaceful lying there in one of her best dresses, it was knee length and strapless. The black silk hugged her unmoving figure, it made Emmie seem as beautiful as she was when she was while she was alive.

Walker hung his head down in sadness; I stood there looking at my sister, my best friend, my life saver. Our parents had entered the church, but they left Walker and I alone, we needed to be with Emmie, it needed to be us three. For the last time, it was just us three.

Tears streamed down his face as I carefully walked him to a chair a few feet from the casket. I felt bad, guilty almost for not being able to shed anymore tears, and no one would understand how many I actually cried. I kneeled down in front of Walker taking both of his hands in mine as we stayed there for our parents to see Emmie.

"I want to go home." Walker cried quietly to me.

"If you go home then you will regret it later. Walker you need to be here, for yourself and for Emmie." I told him squeezing his hands. No one would understand the bond the three of us had even when we were apart.

"I'll stay," Walker told me as we stayed exactly where we were at. Walker and I whispered back and forth, it was mostly me telling him it was okay to cry, even though I wasn't. People walked past us, but no one dared to ask if we were okay. They knew we weren't okay, that we would never be okay again. We would never be whole again.

It was nearing time to start the service. Emmie's casket was being carried down the center aisle of the church to the front as Walker and I took our seats in the first pew on the left side of the Church. The three of us were left handed, so that was our deal if I was to pass I wanted them to sit on the left, Emmie and Walker made promises of the same sort.

The back doors opened just before the Preacher was about to speak. A teenage boy around my age started walking down the aisle. I knew him anywhere, sadly, so did Walker. He tensed up as he gave a death glare to the teenager. "Walker, he isn't worth it. He isn't worth it."

"No, but Emmie is." He told me standing up. I yanked his arm as hard as I could getting him to sit down. Everyone in the Church was silent staring at Walker and I or at the other guy, Trevor Mixon.

The service began, the Preacher read lines from the bible and he said numerous prayers. We sat there still and quiet mourning for our dead sister. A tear rolled down my cheek as mom told me to go up there and talk about my sister.

I stood up and everyone's eyes landed on me, eyes of sadness, guilt, strength, depression, any emotion that could possibly be there that repressented the upset feeling we all had. Carefully I walked to the front of the church, and I stopped before I started to speak.

"My twin sister saved my life numerous times. She helped me beat the cancer, she carried me around, I was the annoyance that she cherished. Emmie was the best sister anyone could ask for, she was selfless and caring. Emmie was the best person to talk to or cause trouble with. She was the perfect person, I just don't understand how someone couldn't love her. I would trade anything to have my sister back. Emmie if you're in heaven and you can hear me. I love you sis." I was bawling by the time I finished, Trevor was looking down at the floor with tears streaming down his face, was the guilt finally eating at his consince? Did he finally understand our pain?

As I sat down in the pew Walker got up to say a few words. He stood infront of everyone without his tough exterier for once. "She was sixteen, only sixteen when her life ended. Emmie was beautiful and compasionate. She put everyone before herself, and that is something rare in people. If you were upset she would spend the whole day trying to cheer you up, if you were hurt she was your doctor. If you were sick she would donate anything to keep you alive. I don't think Emmie knew how much she really kept us all together. We were called 'The Three' that was our nickname because we were always together, you would never see just one of the girls or just me, it was 'The Three'. I love my sister, I always will and we will never be whole without her. Everyone has their own little thing, not her she was everything rolled into one. Now she has a million lifetimes infront of her and she is watching all of us from up above, she is our guardian angel, she was when she was alive too. Emmie, sis, I love you, I miss you, and I hope you are just as perfect of a person like when you were with us."