They say sometimes people don't actually change, you just never really knew them. He said he would never be like them. He wanted to be a good guy, I could tell. The influences around him corrupted him. He became one of them. He does bad things. Things he said he didn't want to do. He lied. Everything was/is a lie. He said he's doing fine but I can tell in his eyes that he's not. He says he's okay but his voice tells me otherwise. He says he has no problems but the hesitation tells me that there is. I want to be there for him. I want to be his friend. I want to support him in everything he does but everything he does kills me. Every little lie. Every big lie. Every lie kills me. I believed we were honest with each other. I was honest, he wasn't. I cared more, he lied about caring more. I loved him more, he lied about loving me more.I don't want to believe it was all a lie but now I know it is.
He says it's not my fault but it is. I triggered it. I brought out the bad in him and I hate myself for it. He brought out the worst in me. He brought out a side of me I wished never came back. No matter how happy he made me, he also made me 100x worse. I never wanted to need to be so close to someone but also so far away from them. I needed him to make me happy but I needed him to leave more. He made me feel like I was a princess but at the same time, he made me feel like a peasant. I relied on him for my happiness whenever he caused me sadness. He made me feel so confident, yet so insecure. He brought out a side of me I never wanted to see again. He brought out my demons and they will forever haunt me because of him. I thought love was suppose to bring out the best in each other turns out we brought out the worst in each other.
