Ten Tonne Skeleton (Dean Ambrose Fanfic)

It's all too much, I don't feel a thing - Part 6

This part is triggering and involves self-harm. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

The thought of his only love being with another destroyed all emotions that made up the mind of the weak man. Dean had become numb. Everything had become too much and he knew that he had finally reached his breaking point on the mental scale.

Dean was sat in bed with all the lights off. The darkness surrounded him and engulfed his brain into a dangerous place. His mind spoke painful words to him, words that affected him but did not hurt the soul of the lunatic.

His hand traveled around his body. He felt his stomach and his thighs, they were both huge. He didn't understand why he was still so big. He knew that he was only a few days into the month plan, but he thought that there would be some kind of a difference by now.

That's why Seth doesn't want you. He's disgusted at you. He's embarrassed to be around you. Your thighs are twice the size of his, that is not healthy Ambrose! His mind screamed at him, begging him to do something. He didn't like being numb. He wanted to feel pain. He needed it. He deserved it.

Dean got off of the bed and ran over to his gym bag where he found one of his many lighters. The flame hypnotized his mind. The bright, yellow flicker of fire made him feel happy. He thought about all the people who would laugh at him if they saw what he was about to do. Roman would be one of them. Seth would be the next. Hunter would probably get mad at him, but he would also be happy to see someone he hated cause themselves pain. 

He moved the lighter towards his left arm and placed it on his wrist. The flame ignited and a large stinging pain shot through his arm. It felt good. It felt great to finally get what he deserved. He held the flame in the same place on his wrist until the skin split and started to bleed, then he moved the lighter to another spot on his arm and repeated the process.

He was left with four burn marks on his arm, each bleeding, some more than others. He felt extremely happy with himself. It was almost like he had just burnt out all of his demons, including Seth's girlfriend.

Along with his happiness there was also a small amount of worry. How was he going to hide these burns whilst he was in the ring? His attire has always been short sleeves. Dean knew for a fact that he couldn't let anyone see these burns. He didn't want people laughing at him for being so weak. Hunter would probably fire him for being mentally unstable and then all the fans would hate him. Roman would probably tell Seth and Seth would be disgusted at him and never want to talk to him again. He couldn't let that happen. Dean eventually passed out on his bedroom floor. He was physically and mentally exhausted.

__________

Morning came and Dean was currently getting ready for the live show later on tonight. He had a match against Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Championship. He had already been to the gym and was now showering. Dean decided to give himself a hair cut. He didn't want to cut too much off, just enough so he could see when he was walking. He was also extremely bored so he needed to kill some time. 

His hair looked quite good and his head felt lighter. For some reason the small change in appearance made him feel a lot more confident. However, that feeling didn't last long. He saw the burn marks on his arm and spent an hour trying to figure out how he was going to cover them during his match. He decided that he would bandage them up and tell people that he had sprained his arm or something like that, but he needed bandages in order to do that. He knew that he could buy some on the way to the arena but he needed to get the bandages on his arm without anyone seeing the marks.

Dean made his way to the arena, an hour early, and headed straight to the locker room. It was empty when he got there so he saw this as his chance. He took off his hoodie, but as he grabbed the box of bandages out of his bag he heard a voice.