Andromeda

Chapter One

Look. I didn't write this because I want you to know what happened with me and Andie. I didn't write it because I wanted to glorify what I did. I'm not writing it because the shrinks tell me it'll help, and I'm sure as hell not writing it because I feel sorry for myself. I just think it's important, is all.
My name is Drew Iero. I'm twenty, blah, blah. I like to blah blah and blah blah. Whatever. Nothing personal, but I'm trying to make it abundantly clear that I have no desire to write this so that people can read it. What happened with Andie and I was special, and more importantly, it's none of your goddamn business. Why am I still writing?
So, I guess it all started on a warm June day. I was messing around with my pencil in the middle of some lecture hall for some lower level math class at the local community college. Deer Run Community College or something real clever like that. Not only did my parents care less about me attending a university, but they also thought they were real smart and made me pay for my own damn school. So I decided to take a year or two off. After spending half my money on beer and the other half on girls, I decided to try a job at this seedy clothes shop. It had all of four clothes racks, not a changing room in sight, and the back room constantly smelled like a mix of vomit and weed. If it wasn't a drug front then I don't know what it was.
Anyways, back on topic. I was sitting in the lecture room with lingering thoughts about girls and the possibility of actually having a dorm instead of passing out on various couches across town. My parents made their way into my head, which was enough to turn me off from giving a single shit about the final exam laced across my desk. I was already failing the class; the only way I could scrape a passing grade was to score perfect on this final, which would have made a great joke if it hadn't been so goddamn frustrating.
I put my head down and decided to take a little nap. Hey, what was I supposed to do? My hope for passing (or succeeding in pretty much anything, at this point) was long gone. I took in a deep breath and relaxed my body, attempting to get some sleep under these blinding lights.
Then, out of absolutely nowhere, I got this awful pain in my head. Like, my eyes started watering and I almost screamed out a few profanities, that's how painful it was. Maybe it was the lights, but it sure did hurt. A goddamn axe could have been splitting my head in two. I think I might have actually shouted or something, because all of a sudden the long, nearly emaciated shadow of the professor was cast over me. Looking down at me through his stupid half-moon glasses like I'm some insect, he asked what the hell was wrong with me. I can't remember the bastard's name, much less his exact words, but it must have been something bad because the next thing I knew, I was standing up, shoving him aside and making for the door like Forrest Gump just tore his leg braces off.
I couldn't tell you if I took any hallucinogens or not, but I distinctly remember hearing a female's voice begin resonating in my head, mocking me.
"Seriously? You're going to give up that easily? C'mon, Drew. The questions honestly weren't that difficult." The voice had sort of a strange echo, but one that I could get used to if it actually motivated me to get my ass back in that lecture hall and do something with my life other than down some beers and fuck some girls.
I awkwardly glanced around the room, trying to pinpoint any suspicious-looking individuals. Other than a seemingly drunk female poking the guy next to her with her phone, no one seemed to be moving a muscle as they waited for the lecture hall to open for the next exam.
I walked back into the dismal hall, scanning the room. I saw all eyes were on me and dramatically ran for my seat. Nobody had said anything, so I rubbed my eyes and muttered some half-hearted apology to the damned professor, still casting his lanky shadow over my empty paper. That guy made me mad, he really did. Just the look on his face whenever he tried to lecture on shit he barely knew made me want to shove a wrench halfway up his ass to see if he started to get the message that he wasn't good at what he did.
Sitting rather uncomfortably back in my stiff, wooden chair, I took another look at my paper. I searched my brain for how to factor an irrational function with too many terms to count with a slight hangover. As usual, I had no success.
"Look, all you gotta do is simplify," said the voice, ringing my ears with confusion. I looked behind me for wandering eyes only to find a group of terrible cheaters in the back corner popping some sort of opiates. I wasn't sure how to communicate back to the voice, so I whispered, "who are you?"
"You don't have to whisper, I'm right here. I can hear everything you think," the voice responded immediately, preceded by a snort. "I guess I should give you some sort of insight as to who I am. Hello, my name is Andromeda. No, I'm not an alcoholic."
I managed a chuckle at her idiotic approach and responded in my head, "Andromeda...like the Galaxy?"
"The Galaxy that's far more attractive than you, yes." That's when I started to realize the girl had more sass than I could ever contain.
"Alright, fair enough. Now, tell me how to pass this shit." I figured if she wasn't leaving she could at least make herself somewhat useful.
"Like I said, simplify. Look at your paper, the 8 simplifies to a 2, then distributes into the whole function." Cocking my head as I stared at my paper, I tried to make sense of what she was saying. She continued on to explain the problem as I scribbled on my paper.
"Wait, so if you factor this, then all you do is write the excluded values?" I asked when she finished rambling between my ears.
"Yep. Easier than you thought, huh? Maybe you would know this if you actually paid attention."
When she came out with that statement, I wasn't sure how much more of her I could handle.
"Listen, bitch—if you want to live up here in my head, then shut up unless I ask you to talk."
"Oh, sweetheart. You don't really mean that." she replied with a fake pout she tried to hide with a slight grimace in her voice.
"Why are you even here anyways?" I asked as anger built up. She sighed intensely, then proceeded to tell me she needed me to do something for her.
"Well don't leave me hanging, what is it?"
"We'll discuss it after you finish and pass your math exam, so get to work."

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Authors Note:
Just to let you guys know, I'm not the only creator of this novella; my beautiful date friend Ethan Laney is also responsible for the ideas put into this story and for the words written.
Love you guys,
Mack Moore