Markiplier and Jacksepticeye Imagines

Author's Note 5 (IMPORTANT)

 I'd like to talk about a guy who basically saved my life. I won't reveal his name until the end so that you don't judge this guy harshly if you don't like him. This might change how you see him haters. Anyway, I guess I'll start with the first time I ever saw him.

I was browsing YouTube, watching some Tobuscus, Smosh, and Pewdiepie at the time, when I saw a certain video that looked interesting. So I clicked on it, and this guy's intro was so happy and energetic. He was loud, but so was I, so I was used to it. I watched the video and immediately watched the rest of the series.

I later checked out his channel, watched a few more of his videos, and subscribed. He was funny, happy, energetic, and just amazing. I fell in love with his commentary and I liked that his channel wasn't about just one type of game. He was one of the Let's Players who had variety.

That same year, much later though, probably Fall, I fell into a sort of depression. I would cry everyday, and I started a journal to pour my feelings out into. Although I wasn't as loud anymore, I was good at keeping my sadness hidden. I had been watching this YouTuber everyday at home that year, but now I watched him every time I could. School, home, public, anywhere. I honestly didn't care. He was the only thing that could make me smile.

After about a month of going through this depression, I had thoughts of suicide. I hated myself, for reasons I won't share, to the point where I started cutting. I don't have scars anymore to show you, but it was bad.

I never told my mom about it. It would put her through so much, and she already had clinical depression that was off and on that she had to deal with. I was pretty much alone with this. Also at this point, I started writing 'Hidden Wings'.

Anyway, back to the suicidal thoughts. When I thought about suicide, it kinda scared me, but I was more worried about how much of a disappointment I was to everyone. But I stopped myself. The first person to pop into my head wasn't my freinds or family or pets, it was him. He popped into my head before anyone or anything else. I thought about how he would be so sad that one of his subscribers committed suicide. Then I cried, no, sobbed. It was more than just crying.

It killed me to picture him sad. Then I thought about my best friend, Katlyn. She was the only one of my friends who was truly there for me when I went into this. She was also the only person I told.

Later I wrote a note for my mom about how I hated myself and that I was a disappointment to her. We talked and she looked me in the eye, gripped my shoulders, and I will never forget what she said.

"You are NOT allowed to hate yourself. EVER. You have to learn to like yourself before everyone else."

Then she made me say 5 things I liked about myself. I was in tears the whole time. I couldn't, so she did for me.

After that, I sat in my room all night. I couldn't sleep, so I just mulled what she said over in my head, playing his videos so it wasn't silent. He still filled me with joy.

A few days later, I was healing. Slowly but surely. My mother just helped me change my perspective on things. It was him who truly inspired me. I watched his more recent vlogs and payed close attention to every word. He always talked about how he appreciated all of his community, and he always said he was rambling. He apologized a lot for rambling, but I just smiled.

To be honest, I loved how he rambled on and on about how much he cared. I ramble a lot too. I could go on and on for hours about how great he is and how much he helps me and other people all the time, and how he saves people from depression.

I think that seeing him so happy, and knowing that there was still light in the world, really pulled me out of the pitch black hole that I fell in. To put it in a metaphorical terms, it was like a light came from the opening of the hole and a hand reached down and helped me out.

When I looked up to see who he was, there weren't any demons around or darkness, just light. And I saw him. I saw Jacksepticeye. His blue eyes were warm and welcoming. It was as if he hugged me and all I could feel was happiness. But then, someone else came up from behind him. It was Markiplier. He smiled, and we hugged, and it was like nothing bad could ever happen to me again. Like my demons were never ever coming back. I felt hope. Hope for a brighter tomorrow. Hope for a happier day. Hope for no more sadness.

For the first time in months, I actually felt truly happy as they wrapped their arms around me, and I cried. But this time, it wasn't tears of sadness, it was tears of pure joy. I was finally free. I was finally happy.

Jacksepticeye and Markiplier saved me, and now they're my Guardian Angels. 

~Lauren Tipton~

The true name of the author "ScarletSepticEye"