Markson-one shots <hiatus>

How Long

Hi I was feeling really angsty so here this is  

Jacksons point of veiw 

That night he stumbled through the door of our shared apartment, it took as big a toll on my life. It affected me as much as the time he stumbled through the door in the place where we first met. 

Flashback 

The rain pelted the windows of the dimly lit coffee shop. It was quiet, I liked it that way. The atmosphere was fragile, like a layer of thin glass was covering the room. People moved about, but it was like I was in a daze. The only stimulation of senses I felt was the rain on the Windows.

I lifted my green ceramic mug up to my lips, and dipped in my warm tea. It felt so strange to be so dry and warm while outside was grey and soaked. This was my favourite way to spend days like this. 

The rain got louder and seemed to break the seal of hushed silence, as the door opened and a hooded figure ducked inside insistent upon getting out of the rain. The figure moved to the front of the shop, taking if his hood as he did so. 

I wasn't quite sure, as I watched from my seat in the corner, but I was entised with him. I was entised with how quietly he navigated around. I was entised with the way his wet hair stuck to his forehead. I was entised with his pale skin and ears filled with studs. I was entised with his he leaned into the counter with both hands when he ordered his coffee with a low voice you wouldn't expect him to have. I was entised with out confident he came off as without being areogant when he came to my table and simple stated "I don't want to sit alone." 

I, flustered, had let him sit down, and the conversation just flowed. I never felt the need to create small talk or talk unnecessarily, I somehow always knew what to say, and hours had passed before I realised the rain had stopped, and the ship began to fill with people again. It was like a movie, everything with him was like a movie. 

Time jump/ still flashback  

I loved laying in his arms. He would wrap his arms around my waist, laying in my torso and burying his face into my neck. His breath would always hit me with some kind of heat when he would talk, causing me to squirm becuase if all the air coming and tickling my shoulders and neck. I loved having him near me, it was like being able to hold priceless art. He was art. I would take my fingers and trace them over his bare shoulders, lining every dip and curve in his back. 

"You're you pretty" I would whisper, Andy would remember him smiling into me, I could always feel it becuase his lips would graze across my neck when he smiled. 

"Mark, I love you." I used to say this all the time, and he would tighten his lazy grip around my waist. 

"I love you too, and I promise I'll keep you safe." 

End flashback 

But tonight was different. He wasn't quiet when he walked through our door. 

I sat in the couch near our apartment, my head in my hands. I shifted softly, moving my body as I convulsed with sobs. 

"Come on Jackson." I said through tears. "Pull yourself together." 

I sat up straight, resting my forearms in my knees. I wanted to scream, and get angry, and hit things. But how could you get mad when you were heartbroken? 

The door to the apartment opened and Mark came in. His minimalistic makeup was smeared down half of his face. His sweater hung of of this thin frame, and his left shoulder. I could see the top of his chest. On it there was a red mark outlined with purple. In sure there were more I couldn't see. 

"Hi Jackson." He spoke not quite sounding like himself. His feet crossed over each other as he tried to walk towards me  

"How long?" I asked  bluntly. He seemed taken a back and completely confused by my out of context question. He stood up straighter, and seemed to sober up. 

"Jackson have you been crying?" He asked reached out to touch my face. 

I moved my hard away from his touch. He had sounded genuinely worried, but right now I didn't care. 

"How long Mark? My voice raised a bit this time. I wanted an answer. He looked at me, absolutely shocked. I never yelled at him, even when I was fuming. I never yelled, especially not at him. He was my angel. 

He stared at me like a deer in headlights, and defeated my voice dropped to a whisper. 

"How long?" I asked pain sounding through my voice. I didn't even want to accept this as a reality much less have to talk to him about it. I was killing myself. 

Mark looked at me and but his lip, trying to hold back tears, but once fell down his face regardless. I wanted nothing more than to run to him, and wipe it away, pulling him into to me and letting him know everything would be okay. I wanted it all to go away. 

"A month and a half." He said quickly looking at me, then dropping his eyes. He inhaled air sharply, trying tk keep from breaking down. 

"Same guy?" I asked. Every question I asked taking what felt like a knife in my chest, and twisting it. 

"No never the same." He responded staring intently at his shoes.

"How many?"

"I don't really remember, probably six or seven." 

"Did you really think I wouldn't notice?" You come home and hug me and tell me you love me, but you smell different. Like Vodka and someone else, not like Mark, my Mark." 

His eyes at this point, were spilling tears and his had a mix of guilt, regret, and some sort of plead in them. 

I threw my head back and laughed a little. He didn't deserve to feel guilty now. I should hate him but all I could think to do was tell him it was okay, and that this wasn't his fault. But it was his fault. 

"You need to leave. Get your stuff and go. I can't deal with this." His eyes widened for a moment, but soon after he nodded his head and left to pack. 

I watched as he threw some things into a small black bag. 

"I'll um-" his voice cracked. "I'll come back in a few days to get the rest of my things." 

 I nodded with my arms crossed over my chest. I dig my finger nails into my skin, I didn't want to cry again. 

He slung the bag over his shoulder, and I moved to open the door for him. 

On his way out, he grabbed my shirt, and pulled me into him. He kissed my lips, and I without hesitation kissed him back, this would be our last. I felt a tear from his eyes land in my cheek as he pulled away. The feeling of his lips on mine still made my lips tingle as he bagan to walk out the door. He turned on his heel once he exited the door frame. 

"Goodbye Jackson." He paused staring at the ground again. "I love you." 

"I know you do." I shut the door on him. I leaned my right forearm against the door and placed my head on it, bringing my other hand up to my lips, trying to solidify the lingering feeling of Marks lips on mien in my Brain. 

Goodbye Mark