How To Save a Life [ON HOLD]

[one]

WARNING: this book contains suicide attempts and self-harm.

I'm not meant to be here.

No one would miss me if I was gone.

I'm just a waste of space, a burden on everyone's shoulders.

Everyone's life would be better if I just left.

These are the thoughts swirling around in my mind as I step into the cold ocean water, letting the small waves lap against my ankles.

I look up at the dark sky as a loud rumble of thunder sounds through the sky, the wind whipping my strawberry blonde hair around my face. The cold stormy weather is representing my mood perfectly this fine October evening.

I bring my gaze back down to the dark ocean in front of me and take deep breath. Do I really want to do this? I ask myself. The answer is yes. It's not like anyone would care anyway. Giving myself a nod for reassurance, I take a few steps into the water.

The gradually growing waves crash into me as I walk deeper into the ocean, causing my jeans and sweater to cling to my goose bump ridden body. The fresh cuts down my wrists begin stinging due to the salt water, but I continue my mission into the deep water. Nothing can stop me now.

The waves were becoming rougher, and I was starting to struggle to jump over the oncoming waves. I need to do this now.

I duck under the water as the biggest wave yet comes barrelling towards me. I tumble around as the wave rolls over me and I have to fight my natural instincts to resurface. I'm underwater for a good 10 seconds before dizziness finally starts to take over. This is it, I think to myself. It's finally over.

Those were my last thoughts before something grabbed my arm, pulling me from under the water into the fresh air. It hardly processed in my mind that I was gulping in all the air I could. The world was spinning and everything was blurry. I see something yellow and red, before everything goes black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I jolt awake, spluttering out water and gasping  for air as I feel two hands gently roll me over onto my side. Someone lets out a sigh of relief as they pull my soaked hair off of my face, and mutter something that sounded oddly like 'thank God'. I can't stop coughing and my lungs are aching, but all I can seem to think is, why am I still alive? I should be dead, floating lifeless in the ocean until someone finds my body.

When I finally stop coughing and catch my breath, I lift myself up to a sitting position and a hand is suddenly supporting my back. I snap my head to my right, where I see a guy kneeling beside me, a concerned yet caring look on his face.

"Do you feel okay?" He asks scanning my face and body, but not in a creepy 'I'm checking you out' kind of way. "Any pain or sickness?" I stare blankly at him and slightly shake my head, even though I did feel I little light headed and my throat was killing me.

Who is this guy? And why is he here with me? I look around me and realise I'm on the beach again, only metres away from the water. That's where I should be.

"You're okay," He says reassuringly with a gentle smile. Anger takes over my body and I glare at him. How dare he say that I'm okay? Who is he to say whether I'm okay or not? I am most definitely not okay. I try to get to my feet, but fail miserably, proceeding to fall back onto my bum.

"Whoa, slow down, you need to stay sitting." The boy says, placing his hand back onto my shoulder, but I shrug it off and scoot further away from him.