How To Save a Life [ON HOLD]

[two]

"Are you hungry?" Tristan asks as we slide into a booth at my once favourite café. Now it just brings back sad memories.

I shake my head 'no', fidgeting with my hands resting in my lap. Tristan stares at me, examining my face as if trying to figure out whether I'm lying. I shift in the leather seat beneath me, feeling uncomfortable under his intense gaze.

"You sure?" He asks, and I nod my head, shifting my gaze down to my hands. I think if I ate something right now, I would throw it right back up. My stomach is churning from the mere fact that I'm still alive. I just shouldn't be here right now.

I shouldn't be sitting in this booth with a stranger, especially one that saved my life when it didn't need saving. I shouldn't be wearing said stranger's sister's clothes that surprisingly fit me perfectly. I shouldn't even still be alive. What I should be is dead, floating lifeless out in the ocean.

A waitress approaches our table, pulling me out of my thoughts. With a paper and pen in hand, she gives us a genuinely chirpy smile. I forget what smiling like that feels like...

"Hi! What can I get you guys?" She asks looking between Tristan and I, the smile never leaving her face. I can't help but stare at her and envy how genuinely happy she is. I miss being like that.

Tristan starts feeding the waitress his order, adding in a side of fries because I will 'probably end up eating them'. No. I will not. The waitress smiles, scribbling down his order. "And any drinks?" Tristan orders an iced coffee before looking over at me.

"Uhhh, can I get a chocolate milkshake please?" I say, deciding on the spot that I could probably keep down one of their killer shakes, my all-time favourite. The waitress smiles at both of us once again before letting us know it 'shouldn't be too long' and walking off into the kitchen.

An awkward silence seeps into our booth as I look at anything but Tristan. I can fell his eyes on me, making me feel even more awkward, but apparently I'm the only one feeling the awkwardness in this booth. "How are you feeling?"

My eyes snap up to meet Tristan's, staring at him with a blank face. Why is he asking me this as if I'm just feeling unwell? Clearly that is not what is happening here. I decide to keep my mouth shut, shrugging one of my shoulders instead.

Even if I answered the question in the way he meant, I wouldn't know where to start. How am I supposed to explain what's going on in my head when I don't even understand it myself? Plus, it's not like I'm going to just open up to this guy. I still don't like him, no matter how friendly he is towards me. Tristan opens his mouth to speak, but at that moment the waitress returns with our order, giving us the same chirpy smile from earlier before leaving once again.

Whatever Tristan was going to say leaves his mind as he instantly digs into the burger placed in front of him as if he hasn't eaten in weeks. I watch him for a moment, amazed at how he is even able to bite into the massive burger, before taking a long sip of my chocolate shake. It tastes like heaven, just like I remember it. I haven't been here in so long, not since everything has happened. I just couldn't come back. It would make me remember all the fun memories my friends, family and I made here, and it was just too much. But I guess tonight was an exception.

"Do you want some fries?" Tristan asks, bringing me out of my trance and pushing the basket of fries towards me. I notice he has already finished his burger, which is amazing regarding how big it was. I reject the offer with a shake of my head, taking a small sip of my milkshake. Tristan shrugs, happily pulling the basket back towards him before his face suddenly drops.

"Are you sure you don't want them?" He asks looking at me slightly guilty. I shake my head again.

"So you do want them?" Tristan asks, obviously confused.