I noticed him as he walked into the day room. The vibe was mellow, but he was
nervous. I could tell. His eyes darted around the room, probably making mental
notes and assessing the situation.
I sat at the front of the table, observing him. He was tall. Maybe 6 feet, or
close to. Couple of extra pounds. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Handsome. He looked in
my direction, then back up at the rest of the room. We had a full house for the
first time since I got there. The "after holiday rush". Halloween was the day
before and space was limited. He sat down across from me. He didn't look up.
"Hey." I said with a slight nod of the head. He looked at me distractedly, and
mumbled a greeting. He obviously didn't want to talk, and normally I wouldn't
have persisted, but the klonopin had curbed my anxiety, and I had an advantage.
I knew the ropes. I had only been there 2 weeks, but it doesn't take long to get
used to the routine. Or the drugs. Both of which had a hold on everyone in the
day room. It was the after-dinner, after-meds, lull of the evening. Unlike most
of our suicide attempts, relationships, and life goals. The monotony never
failed.
"I'm Tyler." I said, attempting to converse again. "I'd shake your hand but no
PC." I chuckled, covering my face. It was a nervous habit that annoyed me to no
end. "Whats your name?" He looked at me again. His eyes were like ice. Not
because they were cold but because they were hopeless. They were the eyes of
someone who had given up. "Uh, Kory." he responded after a small pause, the
slightest hint of annoyance apparent in his tone.
I nodded. He looked away. Resting his head in his hand. That's when I saw the
cuts. They were fresh. Red and purple. Vibrant on his pale skin. Making more of
an impression on me than he himself. There was something else to him. Layers
that I couldn't see, but instead felt. He was composed of secrets and history,
and I wanted to be enlightened.
Looking back on it today, I guess I know what had occurred. I can easily
identify the feelings I felt. The intensity, with a dash of instability. It
could have only been one thing.
It was obsession at first sight.
--------------------------------------
One week later
"Ugh, I wish I had a different roommate." I said quietly. I didn't want the
people around me to hear what I was saying. Cliques had formed and tensions were
high. Every one was looking for a reason to fight. "Yeah, Aaron snores
ridiculously loud. I wish I had a different roommate too." Kory muttered in
response. He never had anything nice to say about his roommate. I knew Aaron was
obnoxious, and his choice of friends was questionable but he was harmless. I
