𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓮𝓬𝓽 ღ 𝒥𝓊𝓃𝑔𝓀𝑜𝑜𝓀

Chapter 7: Food diary

Jungkook's P.O.V

When I woke up again the warmth from Jin wasn't there anymore. I opened my eyes slowly looking around, it was already dark. It took only a few seconds when I realized everyone was in their beds. Hoseok's soft snoring and Jimin's deep breaths. I was kind of happy because that meant I didn't have to talk to anyone yet. I looked with my hands for my iPhone. When I found it, I looked at the time first, which read 3AM. It was pretty late, but I was totally awake. Sighing I got out of bed and silently tiptoed out of the room.

My stomach grumbled, and I knew it was craving for food very badly, but I didn't want to give in. Instead of getting food I went to the bathroom and locked it behind me, switching the light on. I threw off my PJ's and stood in front of the mirror in only my boxers. All the fat was clearly showing, it looked disgusting.

Looking away my eyes fell on an object under the sink, a scale. I never thought of weighting myself before, maybe if I do now I can make a weight-goal for next week. I grabbed it and stepped on it.

61Kg.

It's even worse than I thought. Last year I was 58Kg, it clearly said on my profile. How did I gain 3Kg in a year? It's so much, how can someone gain so much? A tear escaped my eye, but I quickly brushed it off with my hand. It wasn't the time to cry about something I can change. I took out my phone and started searching on the internet about weight-loss. How to quickly lose weight? What to eat and what not to eat if you want to lose weight? Best exercises to lose weight? My eyes searched for everything useful.

When I was done doing my research I opened my notepad in my phone to write down the most useful thing I found and also to start a diary about what I ate and what I weighted. Of course today just started.

Day 1:

Weight: 61 Kg

Breakfast:

Lunch:

Dinner:

When I was done writing it, I started to think about what I was going to eat today. Hopefully it is going to be busy, so we don't have a lot of time to eat and also don't have breakfast. At least we have dance practice, that's good because that means I will get some exercise done this day. Exercise? Maybe I can do a small workout right now too. I looked on the internet –again- for a quick workout. When I found a 10-minute workout I positioned myself and started with the crunches.

When I got back to bed it had already gotten 4AM, my eyes felt drowsy, but my body felt energized. Probably from all the exercises. I tried to listen to music to fall asleep but only my eyes wanted to close. I also tried counting sheep, breathing in for 5 seconds and breathing out for 8 seconds, and even went as far as massaging my head. Nothing seemed to work.

I kept on being awake the whole night because when I finally felt as if I were to fall asleep Hoseok's alarmed ringed through our room, which he didn't forget to set this day. I signed as I sat up on my bed and felt the urge to lay down again immediately. "Whoa! You look as if you haven't slept for ages." Hoseok said in his morning voice. "Your eye bags grew a few millimeters this night" Jimin chirped in. "Funny." I said sarcastically. "Someone's grumpy." Jimin said. "Well anyways let's get ready!"

He got out of bed and went to the bathroom, and not long after Hoseok followed him to also brush his teeth. I felt a headache already growing and signed again. I already can't wait for this day to be over, so I can go back to bed again.

"Hey, are you feeling any better?" I got shaken out of my thoughts by Jin's voice. "You look terrible." I giggled as he, still a bit concerned, felt my head. "Gladly you didn't get a fever over the night." "hm" I said. "Did you sleep ok?" He then asked. "Not really." I honestly answered. "Glad for you we don't have a fully packed schedule today."

I was half disappointed because it meant more time to eat, but I also felt quite relieved, because how was I supposed to survive today with only a few hours of sleep throughout the night. "What do we have today then?" I asked. "None other than vocal practice and dance practice. Oh and boss wants to speak to us."

"What about the photo shoot I missed yesterday? W-when will I have to do it." An anxious feeling took over me, what if I had to do it today?

"Manager-nim said it would only be next week, I think he said Tuesday, but he said it might be postponed a bit longer." "Okay, thanks hyung." "Now get ready Kookie, vocal practice will start at 7 and it's already 6:15AM." He patted my head. "Ne hyung." Jin left the room and I finally got out of bed too. I had 30 minutes left to do everything (it's a 15-minute drive to the Big Hit building).

When washed up and dressed I didn't had time left to eat. I was kind of intentional slow with everything this morning because of that. We got in the car and left off to Big Hit.

We arrived 15 minutes later and went straight to the vocal room, except for the rappers, who went to another room. Me, Jin, Jimin and V stood in a line and all of us got a paper shifted in our hands. "You already know your comeback will be in 1,5 month and we finally know which song from all the songs you prepared for the new album will be the 'comeback song.'" When I looked at the paper I saw 'I Need U' as the title. "We will do 'Dope' later this year. But for now focus on 'I Need U.' " Trainer-nim said.

Vocal practice continued from 7 to 9 with only some small breaks. My headache felt worse by every minute and regretted that I forgot to take medicine at home. I was too scared to ask here, it would only make the hyungs worry and that is something I really am not looking forward today. I will just try to forget, maybe it'll even go away after a small while. I also have some time to sleep now, we have an hour until dance practice begins. Vocal trainer-nim told us to rest and eat something before it would start.

I only listened to the first thing he said as I went to lay on a coach that was in a room near the dance studio where we always stored our bags. I gladly was alone. It was quiet, and it made me feel at ease for a bit. But then my stomach decided to cry for food. It grumbled pretty loud and it even made me feel sick. I decided to just ignore the feeling. Suddenly I remembered the diary that I made at 3AM. I opened it and filled in the breakfast: Nothing. It felt great to write it, but it made me anxious as well. "What am I doing?" I said out loud when my stomach grumbled again.

You are doing great. The voice I had heard a few times before flew inside my head. You are doing great. It kept on repeating and repeating. I shook my head a few times –it was painful for my headache- to get the voice out of my head. Afterwards, it was only silence, but my headache had grown even worse. I laid down again and closed my eyes when realization hit me, Jin has a package of painkillers inside of his bag. I stood up and looked for Jin's bag. When I found it I opened it up and looked at every spot. "Gotcha!"

Then suddenly the door was slung open...