Goodbye

When He Tells You He Love You

Baby girl,
When he tells you he still loves you
Do not listen
You can make beautiful music without him still
Plug your headphones into yourself and listen to your heart
It is still beating without him
Watch, through the tears, as your chest heaves through the process of breathing
Your lungs still expand without him

They will say that they warned you
But no one ever warned you
No one told you what this feels like
They never told you that you will beg at the feet of a God you don't believe in
They never told you that you would start praying to be numb again
Because you once felt so good

You will say you never should've listened in the first place
But baby girl, if you never listened you would have never felt that amazing
Or this sad
But this sadness will pass
And one day someone else will love you
One day someone else will listen to the music you create
With your piano teeth and harp shaped backbone
And with their guitar shaped stomach and bass player hands 
They will
Make music with you

Baby girl
When he says he still loves you
Do not listen
He only damped your noise and you are louder than him
Scream the things you were to scared to say when you together
Ask him how he broke all his promises so easy
Shatter glass at his feet and tell him to pick it up with his teeth
Because it still feels like your insides are bleeding
From the war you fought with yourself the day he left

And baby girl
When he says he still loves you
When you fall back into his arms because you don't know how not to
Play your music as loud as you can
And tell yourself that you are still breathing without him,
Even as his arms wrap around your waist
Tell yourself you do not need him

When he tells you he loves you
And you say it back
Say that you still love yourself
Because you will forget to do this again

When he tells you he loves you
Do not stop making music
Do not refuse to scream
Do not ignore the blood inside of your body because your wounds still have to heal
Do not ignore your harp shaped backbone and piano teeth
It is okay if he doesn't have a guitar shaped stomach and bass player hands
But he shouldn't be what causes your silence

Baby girl,
You were quiet for so long
That your voice almost forgot its own pitch
Your screams ripped apart your throat
Do not go quiet again
For I fear this time it would kill you