Stay With Me

To My Man

A letter to the man (I thought) I'd marry

My Dear,

It has been ages since I last saw you but it seems like it was just yesterday. Andito pa rin yung saya. Andito pa rin yung lungkot. Andito pa din ang sakit. Ang lahat ng alaala.

You were the first (real) relationship I had. I was hesitant to try back then but you were persistent. Minsan di ako makapaniwala na ang isang katulad mo magkakagusto at magsi seryoso sa akin. Sikat ka, I was a nobody. I was just a girl from the province and hindi ko inakala na mapapansin mo ako. We had different sets of friends. Yours, the elites, while mine were the geeks.

When I had that privilege to meet your parents, your family and your roots I wasn't aware that you were starting to show the real you. The loving son and brother to your older siblings and a loving boyfriend to me. I was drawn more to you. Hulog na hulog ang loob ko. Di na ako makaahon. You even gave me a ring that symbolizes a promise of forever. Kahit na magkaiba ang mundo na ginagalawan natin, you always find time to see me. We always hang out at your parents house during weekends. We were happy.

We were happy until that day.

That day I found out that you were with someone all night. The day I saw you with her.  The day I saw her kissing you.

Iniyakan ko yun ng sobra. Ilang buwan din bago ako naubusan ng iluluha. Tinatanong ko ang sarili ko kung bakit. Kung ano ang mali. Ngunit wala akong maisip na sagot. The worst part is, you did not even bother to explain. You did not even bother to pursue me. Iniwan mo na lang ako bigla. No explanation. Nothing. I felt like I was the one who cheated. I felt like I was wrong.

I always wonder up until now. I needed an explanation. I needed you. Yes, I might still be in love with you. I am still waiting for you. And yes, I'd still think it was you... it is you, the man I'd marry.

I still have the ring by the way.

Longing and waiting,
Your Dear