"Dan come out of the closet." Says Phil whilst banging on the closet door. Monica and I try to contain our laughter but it's no use as I start to snort uncontrollably. Phil turns around and shoots us what I think is a glare. It kinda looks like he's constipated to be honest. "I'm so sorry but you walked right into that." I apologized and he gave me a warm smile.
"Well I don't think he's coming out of there anytime soon so why don't we get to know each other?" Asked Phil.
"My name is Monica A.K.A. Stephanie. I'm fabulous and also 5sosAF so yeah." Said Monica pushing me on the ground. I get up and give her an agitated look. "Hi I'm Sammy Flabbergast and this is kinda weird as I've read and written smut about you." I say not giving direct eye contact. "Well that's..........ace." Said Phil blushing madly. "Um you guys could sit down you know." I've just noticed that we've been standing this whole time. We go to sit on the couch. It's extremely comfortable but it smells of chocolate and hot computer wires. Very interesting.
Dan comes out of the closet sniffing. "I'm not ready to be a father." He whines. "What are you talking about?" Asks Monica. "Yeah." I agree. "You don't have to father us. Just provide food. You don't even have to look at or acknowledge us if you want it that way." I say seriously. "We can't do that! Of course we'll acknowledge you. Still though Dan you're acting kinda like a cry baby. You can't just walk into a room and kill the mood because you're scared of a couple teenagers. You're not Gerald Way. So if you're gonna keep crying just go back into the closet please." Phil says. Dan goes back into the closet. "Well I guess he'll stay in the closet a little longer." Said Phil. "Correction: a lot longer ." Says Phil obviously trying to joke now. Dan sniffles from inside the closet
"While we're on the issue, may I ask how long has it been since you've last eaten?" Asks Phil. "Um... don't remember." Says Monica, looking at her stomach. "I guess I could whip something quick up. It's just that my hand is a little sore." Phil says holding his hand to emphasize his point. "Well I know how to cook!" I pipe up. "And I know how to make stuff spicy!" Beams Monica. "Well ok then I trust you. Just don't blow up the kitchen. Dan and I are already losing half of our deposit, yeah?" Phil asks, a hesitant look on his face. We just nod and walk away.
This has got to be one of the best moments of our lives. We are in THE kitchen! THE ACTUAL frickin kitchen where legendary videos took place. " Sam are you thinking what i'm thinking?" Says Monica. "Yeah. We should definitely steal their Nutella." I say, mouth watering looking at the half full container of heaven on the counter. "Uh no, I was thinking that this is a very insta-worthy moment." She said nudging me in the side. "Um no. Are you freaking crazy. Monica we're from America!" I scold. "So what's that's supposed to mean?" She asks. "It means using internet over sees is very expensive and even though our country is crumbling, the still find time to send a bill that MUST be paid." I say annoyed that she didn't already know this. "Oh ." She says and with that we begin scavenging around the kitchen for things to cook.
***
"What's that smell?" Dan says from behind the closet door. "Come out to see." He hums. "Haha funny you twat." Dan says opening the door. He tries to come out but his shoe gets caught in a hanger? "Ahh shoot Phil help me I'm caught." Yells Dan. "Girls, girls come quick! Dan's trapped in the closet." Phil laughs. "Phil stop!" Dan yells, still distressed about being stuck in a closet. "It's not my fault you felt like being R. Kelly today." Phil retorts. All you can hear is a round of snorts coming from the kitchen and then the sound of pots dropping. "Alright Dan let's get you out." Phil says and helps Dan get out.
Dan and Phil walk into the kitchen and are flabbergasted at the sight. "B-but how?" Stutters Dan. "I cooked it." I say confidently. "And I made it spicy." Says Monica with a sinister look on her face. "Why does she look like that? Is it Edible? It smells really nice." Dan says clearly scared to actually try it.
"Yeah it's fine." I assure. "Do you know what it is? "I ask. "Um no, not really to be honest." They say. "Well it's pesto pasta pizza with cheese filled meatballs." I say ready to experience their judgement. "Oh ok." They say calmly. I was expecting a lot worse to be honest. We all fix our plates and then join in the living room. Everybody starts eating and I'm about to start eating too but I remember something very crucial: My lactose pills. I jump up from where I'm sitting and start looking through my suitcase. Monica and Phil stop eating and look at me with concern. "Are you ok." Says Monica. "No. I'm not okay(I promise). Do you remember where my lactose pills are ?" I ask, very frustrated. "No." She says. " No? But you packed them." I look up at her. "I mean No as in 'oh no' because I think I forgot to pack them." Monica says, blush evident on her face proving she's guilty. " Shoot! How am I supposed to eat?" I question her. She doesn't look me straight in the eyes. " I think I have some." Phil says smiling at his own convenience. Phil leaves the room but not for long as he returns with a small bottle of white pills. He hands me two. I toss them down dry and thank him.
Dan finally looks up from his food and smiles. " Well if you're gonna cook like this everyday then you're welcome to stay for as long as you want." Dan says steadily stuffing his mouth. Phil slaps him on the head and we all laugh,
a/n: ok so I realize that this took along time but i'm sorry. I've been having writers block and so I thought I'd give you an extra long chapter unless you don't like that then i'm sorry again. I have main points to this story it's just hard transitioning to them. Tell me in the comments what you like and dislike about thus story and also do you like calamari. I know it's random but yea. Also I changed the cover not that anybody cares. Actually does anybody really care about this author's note probably not. I'll stop rabbling now. Bye :)
