~Rain~

Chapter Ten

Chapter ten - Alice

 

Miles walked silently beside me, staring intently at the ground beneath his feet. The tears had long since ceased to drip from his face into the snow below, but the pain still lingered in his eyes.

This was why I didn’t like people. They came, and they went. And when they went, it hurt worse than anything Taya or Cael could ever do to me.

We were not talking. There was nothing to say. Tyron’s brown was creased, and the distant look on his face was impossible to decipher. Perhaps he was thinking of Willa. Maybe not.

It was impossible to admire the scenery. Although the morning air was fresh, and the slow that was slowly melting in the light of the morning sun was beautiful, there was no use in trying to care.

I wanted to say something, anything, to ease the pain that hung heavily around us, but I could think of nothing. I was far beyond complaining about the pain in my leg and the faintness that lingered behind my eyes. That simply didn’t matter anymore.

As the light had burst over the hill and into the valley, Taya and Cael had disappeared somewhere, no doubt back down to the town where their stash of food and devoted army waited. They hadn’t bothered to thank us, and frankly I didn’t care. It hadn’t been us who had saved them.

It was hard, but I just about managed to keep the smiling image of Willa bounding happily alongside us from my mind. I watched Miles beside me, his eyes trained emotionlessly on the ground. He looked awash with emotions which even I couldn’t understand. Maybe pain, anger, loss, remorse. Maybe regret. Guilt.

‘It wasn’t your fault.’ I made out, surprising even myself at how soft and caring the words sounded. I didn’t realize I was capable of such kindness.

He blinked, as if awakening from a trace. Shaking his head slowly, looked away from me again and opened his mouth. A strangled cry sounded, and he quickly shut it again, content with just the sorrowful look in his eyes that proved to me that that was hardly what he felt. To him, he had as good as killed his little sister. And now he was walking away, towards a house full of his dead relatives on the orders of an eleven year old who had just been killed before his very eyes.

There was no doubt about the fact that this new world was a whole heap more relentless and merciless than the last, but there was nothing we could do but grit out teeth and soldier on.

It was then that my stomach let out a strangled cry, and I realized that I had not eaten anything in more than a day. I was suddenly overwhelmed with hunger, and guilt that I could be craving food at a time like this.

Realizing that nobody else had eaten since then, either, I tossed the apple to Miles, who stared at it mutely, as if wondering what on earth anyone would do with the small red fruit. The apricots, I halved between me and Tyron and ordered that we needed to rest now, sit for a little before continuing our trek back into town and towards Miles’s house.

‘Sit. Now.’ I ordered, pulling Miles down onto the floor.

He did not respond, but followed my lead as if he were simply a puppet, and I was holding the strings.

‘It was my fault!’ I cried out, trying to pull him from his trance.

‘How?’

‘I shouldn’t have left. Then you wouldn’t have come after me.’ I argued.

‘No.’ Tyron interrupted, ‘I shouldn’t have insisted we follow you. What were you thinking?’

‘Shut up, you.’ I snapped, and then turned back to Miles, who was steadying his voice to talk once more.