Child Soldier (Carl Grimes Love story)

chapter 4

I have been locked in my cell for two days. Everyday Carol or Beth comes in and gives me breakfast and dinner and a small snack at lunch. But today was different, Carol came in holding a tray with some breakfast on it and put it down on the small metal table on the side of my bed. Then she sat down at the foot of my bed.

" I know you didn't mean to hurt any one." I just kept my head down while fumbling with my fingers like an embarassed toddler. "You don't deserve to be locked up like this. Daryl is just confuzed." I looked up when I heard his name, I was about to respond with some nasty comment, but she cut me off before I could, "Here go out and get some fresh air."

" Really?"

"Yes go on" she said while I jumped up from my bed and ran out the cell. I didn't have to deal with taking any handcuffs off because they took them off yesterday but kept me on lock down.

I ran outside, I started getting cloustaphobic being locked in that tiny cell 24/7.I started to take in my surroundings. The warm morning sun heating my skin, the coolish breeze flowing through my hair. People were already busy at work tending to the farms and animals and out of the corner of my eye I could see some one walking around. I turned to see Carl, he looked like whatever he wasn't doing, he wasn't supposed to be doing.So being the nosey teenage girl i am, I decieded to go see what he was up to.

He was checking out a piece of fence behind aone of the many large dumpsters we had around the prison. I got up behind him and leaned against the dumpster.

"Where do you think your going?" I questioned from behind him. He jumped, surprized and quite mad looking to see me.

"Aren't you supposed to be locked up or something." He said with a snotty attitude.

"Sorry to disapoint you but they let me out early, are you trying to leave?" I replied just as snotty.

"I don't belong here, don't tell my dad or anyone for that matter." he pleaded.

"Why not? You turned me in so why shouldn't I return the favor," I said I was still pissed at him for that. He seemed like something was wrong and something was telling me to ask him about it. I was very much against the urge, nnot wanting any thing to do with that boy, but I couldn't fight it.  "Do you need to talk about something?"

"No...just leave me alone.." He said not making eye contact and turning his back to me.

" Okay whatever, but I'm not responsible if you go missing," I said as I turned around to walk away.

"Wait...." I slowly turned around to see Carl looking at the ground, something was really bothering him. " It might help if I talk to some one about it, I guess?"

I kinda chuckled at his stubborness and how cleshay that conversation turned out to be. "Okay but lets go some where not so private and creepy. Pretty much any where, where you can't somehow get away with killing me," He followed me out into a little field of grass they hadn't started planting  in yet. We sat down and he started to unravel his thoughts.

" No one gets my here! No one has a clue on what I am going through!"

"Well I think we all got a pretty good idea...," I said. He was really irritating me.

"I HAD TO SHOOT MY MOM!" he yelled at me which kinda made me flinch with fear.

"wh-what..." I wasn't sure what to say to that.

"That baby in there. that's my little sister, my mom passed out giving birth and she wasn't going to make it, so I had to shoot her before she came back as one of them...." he said never making eye contact with me.

"I'm sorry.." I'm not the most confronting person in these situations.

"The thing is you guys don't belong here! None of you do!! If it wasn't for Woodburry most of the people in MY group would still be alive!!" I felt pretty a fended but didn't want to bring that up because that would anger him even more.

I decided to go with the not so insulting answer," So what your saying is that you would feel better if every one from Woodbuury just left?" 

"Yes," he responded promptly with.

And with that answer, I got up, and started walking towards the gate. I know I was being stubborn, but I was leaving. I have been thinking about an excuse to leave and I guess this is it. So what if I die out there, I wont have to deal with all these annoying people, that can't even take care of themselves. It was true though, the Woodburry people didn't belong here..

"Where are you going?!" I could hear him yelling from behind me.

"Leaving!!! That's what you wanted, right?!" i yelled back not even turning around, I was pretty mad. You don't just say that to some one that already feels like they don't belong.

"No thats not what I ment!" Called back Carl. I didn't want to start a fight and get in trouble for some stupid reason..again. I stopped where i was and thought about my choices. To stay or to go.

So I turned around and walked back. I don't know why I decided to walked back. I mean didn't want to stay, but some thing told me to go back. I walked back and sat near him but a bit further away then last time. " I meant that I wish you never came but I guess you can't leave now.." I just sat there I was still a little mad. You don't just say that to some one. "Uhhh" It was getting knda awkward with no one talking. " I like your hat.." He said gesturng towards my hand knit beanni I was wearing. I could tell he was trying to start up some sort of small talk to cover the awkwardness from before.

"It's not mine.." he gave me a questioning look. I didn't want to tell the back story but I kinda had to, I mean I am the one that brought it up. "It was my best friends.. I was with her when this happened. She was having a family barbaque and she invited me over. And...well.. that when it all started."

I looked up and met my eyes with his. His light blue eyes were filled with many differnt emotions. Sympothy, fear, anger.  Our eyes were locked and I couldn't brake that seal. I began to feel an awkward feeling, like some sappy thing would happen between us like in the movies. I couldn't afford to have anything like that happen to me, I had enough stuff to deal with.

Carl slowly shifted closer to me, never breaking my gaze. I couldn't have this happen. my heart began to beat faster and faster. I was deperately looking for a way out of this.

"Uhm.. I should go back to my room. Carol probably needs me." I quickly stood up and walk away, never glancing back once.

All I heard while leaving was a very quiet, "Oh yeah.. Bye"