The Song writer's Journal

the touch

His touch the one that could choose my life and death. I don't know what i would do if he made a wrong choice.
One day later
Bloody painter he wouldn't answer me at all and wanted to talk to him so bad. He had no idea how much i care for him even if we aren't together. I gess he just can't see my pain of holding back my tears evrytime we talk. He don't understand how much i want to talk to him. I want to talk to him so much u wait. I wait for everyone to go to sleep to let out my feelings. In my closet crying. I just hope one day mabey just mabey he will notice my pain. And mabey just mabey he will try to help. I'm just so tired of holding back all my tears mabey he knows how it is like. Anytime he is mentioned i just want to cry or scream. And evrytime he says he is not something i want to smack him and kiss him. I hate it. I hate it so much. Hopefully i pass through his head once in a while at least cus he is always in mine. I haven't got sleep since we last talked witch is a couple days. I haven't even killed since we last talked. I just want to think about him. Because i can't eat,sleep,or read without thinking about him. I have been just locked up in my mind and in my room. Where no one can bother or remind me of him. Its hard though without someone always whispering in my ear hey, what you doing, ok, bye. I just think and play video games. And try to not focus on problems life gives me or him. I just dont want to have to do anything with him enless we are dateing or married. But i don't think that will happen because im shy he is worst we will never be together. I gess i will have to just try to get over him just mabey i will. To bad i probly won't. Everyone noticed i wasn't as social and i was more depressing so they sent jeff to talk to me. He couldn't get me to be happy or any of my problems out of me. He got mad because i was acting happy and he knew i wasn't. But all well he wouldn't be abel to do anything about my problems anyway.