THE NOTHINGNESS I'VE BECOME

MY LIFE,MY STRUGGLE,MY STORY

Broken down with every word they spoke . A parent that was loving ,to me was a joke . I always needed guidance but no one was around . It's hard to keep strong when it's blood that keeps you on the ground . Everything for me started turning dark and black , a corruption began and the shadows surrounded and the darkness took over , hate began that to it all took hold of me ,strength started to lack.I didn't know what to do . My life started to fade away....,, the pain , the distruction , and the hate soon took its place. I woke up every morning with another bruise for the day . I was all alone ,scared , and not one word did I ever say. I got a little older , but older then four . My little sister mycha was brought home and melted my heart of ice .Gave me a reason to keep going even though I was beat on, broken and sore . They still kept hitting causing more pain , but I now had an angel that kept me pushing forward helped me stay again. A year had passed my Angel now 1 years old , even tho that angel gave me my reason , I felt weak , helpless and lost and wanting to give up, then. God sent me another gift . Another gift to save my life , now two angels with stars in their eyes have given the strength that was needed to fight to get by , fight for a better me and me and my angels a way better life . I never lost sight.
I prayed every night as the girls lay asleep , that they never ended up like me. I prayed that things would end up the very fantasy dream I created that I dreamed everynight, perfect job , and a house , with an unbreakable bond.
The pain at this point turned to strength ,an unending urge to create better , a better life I could already see a new life of happiness and joy for my heaven sent angels and me.

A year passed still going strong , the bruises and cuts never hurt long. I had one thing on my mind one thing that's it . That was building hope and joy within the hearts of two , to give them a past that they can remember and love . And them know all I did I did it for them , little angels who saved my life that are sent from the heavens above . The bruises kept going new ones where the old ones began to fade , but the image of a better life , a future that they can express themselves , achieve success, and their futures always continue to unfold.

Another year passed , the pain stays the same , another bruise for another day. I kept my image of better in my mind , with actions to prove every word that I say . The girls in school early the adults didn't know how , but they are beautiful , smart and to the desrutions of life they will not fall , break or bow . One day at school bout the middle of day , my head began to hurt , so I was brought to my sister's class to put my body and head down to lay .

When I awoke people came to take us from all the pain . Said that I didn't have to work that hard anymore , I was so young at first I didn't understand . But when we got to foster home the pieces fell into place . One day was it , I had to say good-bye to the girls that saved my life , the min I seen the look in their eyes , that was the day I found my hope , my reason , my strength.

Four years was spent being passed around from home to home. I started to lose the strength they gave , but their image was the only thing in my mind that shown .

My sister's were my strength that pushed me forward , that kept me doing right . They still don't know how strong my love for them goes , and don't know that they saved my life even though sometimes it doesn't show.

I used the image of what could be for us the better I always dreamed ,I used the image of their smiling faces to push me doing right they were my first inspiration , they kept goodness in my life and the struggles out of sight .