The Wallflower's Blues and The Ruthless Boy's Whims

Chapter One: The Wallflower's Blues

Senior year. Every senior high school student would be exhilarated and at the same time forlorn at the thought of being in their last year of high school. And here I am, on the first day of my last year, standing uncomfortably by the wall while looking at the same time, observing the students prancing around the four corners of this building called high school.

The freshmen looked lost, perplexed and excited. The sophomores seemed a little proud, that at least, they were a year higher, but you could still see their excitement from not being in the lowest grade anymore. The juniors, who practically looked like they did not care about the lower or higher grade, because hey, after a year, they would be the next in line to graduate, but then, you, could still see the conviction in their aura; see that they are still two grades above the freshmen and sophomores. And lastly, the seniors, who appeared intimidating to the freshmen and sophomores, but in reality, some of them were kind of lost and confused too, just like me.

Ever wondered why despite being a senior, I was still so awkward just like most of the freshmen? Well, I didn’t really know, I was the kind of person who stayed in the comforts of being discreet, I had a hard time opening up to people, even with my family. The only person I could talk to, without so much of an apprehension, is my therapist. She helped me get through everything. Every crestfallen or joyful event that happened to me, she was there to know what ensued and to listen.

But despite my character flaws, I liked observing people; I liked seeing how they interact with each other. I liked seeing them smiling, and most of the times, when I saw some of them looking crestfallen, I felt that way too. It was like the sadness surrounding someone got to me too.  In a nutshell, I liked observing things around me, and I sympathized with what they are going through with.

People in school did not really know me, they did not call me weird or anything nor did I get bullied. But sometimes, I could hear people call me names. It was immature, but I knew those people were just showing off in front of their peers, thinking it looked cool and it’s a form of an entertainment.

I did not mind too much though, I should not let these small things get to me if I wanted to survive in this school. Besides, I wasn’t the only one get called names, not that I liked that. But sometimes, when everything just seemed so cruel, I wished they stopped. I might say I did not mind too much, but it still stung a little, and I knew the others who got teased felt this way too.

I did not have friends either, but I did interact with people if needed. Honestly speaking, I’d like to have at least one, but I was still perplexed. Socializing obscures me.

But maybe this time, this senior year, I could have one even though I’m a person with blues, even if I was being named as an eccentric, awkward wallflower.

“Come on Julia, you can do it, you’ve been in school for years, and this not your first time for the school’s first day.” It was what I remembered yesterday when I called my therapist telling her I didn’t want to go through another first day of school again.

 I fiddled with my fingers and sighed, shaking my head.

Go Julia; you can do it, just like what the therapist said.

I walked through the hallway going to the registrar and requested for my schedule.

“Good luck Ms. Lecter.” The woman in the registrar said, smiling to me. I didn’t know why was she so kind to me. Every time I went to the registrar, she always had this smile, which I was glad for. Maybe she knew I was in need of friend, but too reticent to talk to a possible one. Oh well, a smile was better than seeing a scowl. It could at least, help you to get through a day.

 “Thank you.” I murmured.

 I hope she heard me.

As if on cue, the woman in the registrar, Ms. Aceron, nodded. I hastily went out of the room, not knowing what to do after her gesture. I went to the room of my first subject, which is Physics. I walked to the farthest back and sat on one of the chairs there.