Life Happens

The train finally gave out a screeching halt at the Chennai Central. It was 4 in the morning. Highly alert under my sleepy eyes, I got down the train. "Yet another episode of having to wake up so early. Ah, fate!" I sighed. Pulling the trolley that bulged with my books and clothes, I made my way to the waiting hall. Just as I had expected, the hall was overflowing with people. "When on earth will I be lucky enough to get a seat, at least in a not-so-appealing AC waiting hall in a railway station?" I wondered.
I regretted the very thought of getting inside the hall that got me into an uninvited trouble on the first day of the week, so early in the morning. On my way out, I had to encounter a big fat old man with his big fat suitcase that was so stubborn to give way for anyone, just like its owner. My trolley fell head over heels for the old man's suitcase. "Ah how romantic!" I started picking her up.
"Why you, little kid, creating trouble so early in the morning? I already got so much to worry about. Why don't you just look out before you enter someone's way? Kids these days..." he started to complain. I was about to retreat but then I gave up. I was not in a mood for a fit. I mumbled an apology and proceeded. Though I didn't respond to him, my mind wouldn't just let it go. It kept rumbling. "What? I entered his way? And he adds me to the list of 'notorious kids of the present generation' How am I troubling him when I myself am stuck with one already? He seriously needs to be fixed." My mind made faces at the old man. I gave out a chuckle and shushed it. I finally pulled my sleep deprived body with my trolley, out of the oh-so-lovely waiting hall.
As I reached the platform again, I had to go on a seat hunt to rest myself so as to prepare myself for the hustle of the upcoming week. I had strolled till the farthest end of the platform in search of a place to sit. I finally got to place my weary self on a broken bench that everyone else in the world had saved for me. I couldn't wait to get into the cab and be dropped off at my apartment. The drivers seemed to take forever to reach the station.
After a sleepless night in the train and the unexpected encounter with the old man, I was too tired to stay awake any further. The freezing cold platform seemed to simulate the waiting hall differing only by the absence of people to pull in a fight. Just as my body rested, my mind gave in. I had slept for a while, leaning on my trolley that served backrest so well. I thought to compensate the lost sleep before I could start to work.
A superfast train opposite to which I was sitting, tore the lull in the air while it left the platform. The shreds of wind that fell on the platform left me awake. As I was just getting myself oriented to the surrounding, I was startled by the hand that fell on my shoulders. For a brief moment, I regretted the idea of sitting in such an abandoned place at such an odd time. Now that I couldn't do anything about that, I thought of what was going to happen. No longer did it take for me to sense the adrenaline rush in my blood stream.
I gathered courage and turned back. To my surprise, there was a lady in her mid-forties sitting beside me. I wondered how the bench that had already been broken hadn't fallen with two of us sitting on it. I gave my mind a virtual slap to stop its research on the ability of the bench in weight bearing. She smiled at me, still having her hands on my shoulder. I was staring at her face unable to understand what she was telling me. She kept on repeating something that I could not get, no matter what. She was still holding my arms, trying to bring me back to reality.
I blinked twice before I could sense what her question was. She asked," Are you alright my dear? I was just asking you what the time was." She had a tinge of motherly concern in her eyes. She was well built, with strong muscular arms, broad shoulders and a rough voice. She looked tough yet elegant in the designer saree that she was wearing.
"Sturdy woman! ", I thought to myself.
"What happened to you? Is there any problem?"
"No..um..I'm sorry. It's 4:30 "
She smiled at me again. That smile- there was definitely something behind it. I was curious to know what it was. She was just like any other lady, yes. Anyone who saw her will tell you so. When you take a closer look, you might think of changing your mind. Grossly she was a female but she wasn't feminine.
"Do you work here in Chennai?" she asked me.
"Er, yes. I work for L&T Infotech"
"Oh, engineer!"
Her eyes lit suddenly with an inexplicable joy. Though I was actually telling her about me, a greater part of me wanted to know about her. She listened with utmost attention. When I was done telling my history, I noticed her immersed in thoughts. I didn't know if I should ask about her or just leave her alone. I decided to give her some time to assimilate what she was undergoing. I didn't talk further. Silence encapsulated us.
I waited for her to talk. I didn't know why I was so interested in knowing about her. I studied her all over again. In the barely lit area, she looked composed and peaceful. Something inside me said she was not what she looked like. There was really something about her and I had this strong feeling that meeting her was not a mere accident.
I decided to break the silence.
"Should I leave you on your own?" I asked.
She looked at me and I was able to get a much better view of her face this time. Her face glistened in the dim light. Had I not known better, I wouldn't have said she had been crying. Tears welled in her eyes. I decided to leave her alone.
As soon as I got up to leave the place, she pulled me and asked me to sit down. The roughness of her hands and the magnitude of her pull scared the daylights out of me. Those were definitely not the hands of a woman. Neither was that a man. Now, everything seemed to fall in place. She was a transgender.
Initially I was a bit scared at the idea but I managed not to freak out. It took a few seconds for me to realise that there was going to be no harm in staying there, after all nothing had happened so far. We sat in silence for a while. She turned to my side, wiping her tears. My restless self finally settled to hear the story that it craved for.
"My name is.. sorry was Srinivasan. It's been three years now, since I came to Chennai. My native is Rajapalayam, a small village in Tirunelveli district. I was a working as a labourer for daily wages at construction sites. I have a loving wife and a beautiful little daughter. Mine was a happy little family."
I could visualise a happy family in a lovely village from the way his face brightened up when she described her past. Her smile faded as she continued.
"Things went good until I fell down from the terrace of a building in which I was working. I had fractured my back bone and became bed-ridden. My wife sold all the assets for my surgery which rendered me eligible to move. I could neither walk like before nor resume work. I was a useless vegetable. Situation worsened. The increase in demand paralleled the shortage of income. Debts kept mounting. There was no way we could get back to our happy life"
Her face showed the mark of the irreversible turn that life had bestowed upon her. I wondered what could have made her end up here in this condition.
"Days passed by and nothing seemed to improve. I didn't want to be a burden to the family any further. I came to Chennai in search of a job."
"And then what happened?"
"Life"
My mind was left blank and so was my heart. This was one of the rarest times those two entities were in phase. I could sense the void that constantly expanded within me. Everything, but for his words, got evaporated from my head.
"Good that I was illiterate or else I would have had a tough time, looking for jobs. At least I didn't have to worry about getting a job that acknowledged my qualification."
She gave a wry smile before she continued.
"I took up numerous jobs here and there. I worked in papermart shops, construction sites, a mechanic shed and even as a server in a road side hotel. This went for a few months. What I earned during the early days was sufficient for my survival, but that was not the purpose of my coming here. Of course, destiny came up with two solutions with their own prices. I had to either take up many jobs at a time or get a job that paid more. I chose the one with a lesser loss."
I just nodded. I didn't know what else to do.
"As I was working for a while in a place near Vyasarpadi railway station, I came in touch with a few transgender. They saw me spending the nights in the platform and offered to share their room. Nice souls after all."
I could hear a sigh of relief in her tone. I was pretty surprised on hearing someone call transgender people nice. The idea of transgender had always been an enigma and the tiniest image that they had created in my mind about themselves, was not so good. I listened in silence.
"As days passed by, I got in touch with other people of the same community. There was a guy who sort of controlled them. He would take care of their basic necessities that would otherwise be difficult to be fulfilled. These people begged in trains and he would get his share in return for the help. In addition to helping them, he would make money with these people, using them for his business. Yes, they were prostitutes."
I was nothing less than shocked to the core. I couldn't take it any further yet I had to. I so badly wanted her to stop talking as much as I wanted to know how it worked.
"A few people out there have weird fetishes apparently for which they need people like us. This brought decent money. The cultured men, who are under the cover of decency in the daylight nurture the most inhuman sexual perversions for their nights. Serving those perversions means up to seven hundred rupees a night. Once it dawns they get into trains and beg. So, that made nearly thousand rupees a day."
I sensed bile rising in my gut. "Do they live in the same world in which I live?" I brushed away my thoughts as she proceeded.
"This sounded appealing to me. It's gruesome, I know. Still, when it comes to looking after my family it wasn't all that a bad idea."
"Did she actually tell me what I just heard? How could one even think of it as an option?" I thought to myself.
"So, yeah. I underwent a surgery that converted Srinivasan into Shyamala. Shyamala is two years by now." She said and gave out a dry laugh. It was all that life had left her with.
"Begging all day in the trains and withstanding the pains inflicted by the human animals during the nights got me thousand rupees per se. The story doesn't end there. There are people whom we owe the money we get by selling our bodies. After giving the broker, the police and the goons their respective share, we are left with a maximum of five hundred rupees and the possibilities of uninvited diseases at the end of the day."
I felt my heart being churned: a dull ache conquered my chest. I was looking at her with tear filled eyes. She was staring at a train that was approaching from a distance.
"So I earn with all my might and send home my savings every month. Debts are almost settled. Wife's taking care of the kid on her own. My daughter studies in a private school."
I was about to ask her something. As if understanding what I meant, she said "Ever since I had the operation done I haven't visited them. How could I? I talk to them on phone. I am dying a virtual death to help my family lead a peaceful life. I don't want to give them the least hint about what's going on here. If they know, it's all ruined."
Her words faded into the noise of the arriving train.
"The reason for why I still haven't given up on life is my daughter. She's a brilliant kid. I will hold on to life and survive whatever that life has in store for me, just to see her get into a great job and look after her mother. Once that happens, I will find my way under the wheels of one of these trains. All I pray to God is to keep her from the idea of what her dad had opted in order to give her the best he could."
I heard a screeching halt. This time it didn't bother me much, as I was already dead in guilt. She hadn't noticed my tears until she cut in the middle as another transgender approached her and spoke something in Hindi.
"Business time", she said.
I still had a puzzled look glued to my face. "Why did she have to tell me all these?"
I came to grief as she said, "Ten years from now, my daughter will look like you. Never again in my life, am I going to see her. I thought I could tell you this because when I go, I don't want to carry the guilt of hiding this from her."
I made futile attempts to suppress the sobs and ended up crying. I looked up at her for one last time, as the bell went out indicating the train's departure.
"Now don't get all sad for a simple story of yet another human life on this earth. Go home. Be happy." She said and made her way to the train.
I saw her from where I was sitting, unable to contain the sorrow that she left. Never did anyone have such an impact on me in so short a span as an hour. As I got up to leave, I heard my phone ringing. I picked it up. It was my father on the other side.
"Have you reached safely? What makes you take so long to pick the call?"
I remained silent.
"My dear, what happened?"
"Life" I said and started moving. For the first time, the trolley didn't seem heavy.

-- THE END --